Deal Me A Bad Hand
by LuxaLovesLawnmowers
Summary: How brave do you have to be to do what Ibiki did? How much pain does it cost? Even scarier, what does it take to recover? As Inoichi knows, no one can do it alone. Not yaoi!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

It's been a while since i did a chapter fic! I've had no time with the computer lately, and have seriously been suffering withdrawels.

Anyway, this is _another_ Ibiki fic (XD), except it deals with something no other Ibiki fic does- Ibiki's recovery from his torture. I know that's true, because I've read all 213 Ibiki fanfictions in English, all the ones in Spanish, and half the ones in French. i've read a couple that touched on the subject, but none that went in depth. This won't be all emo or whatever, so don't worry.

Also, it has Inoichi in it. I'm almost out of time here, so forgive me for any spelling errors. Rating may go up.

Enjoy!

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It was a beautiful day, the day they found him. The trees blazed with color, with every hue of green there was. The sun shone, birds chirped, and bees hummed over the ice cream of children, who were in such a good mood they didn't even have the heart to deny the merry insects.

It was a coincidence that Inoichi was at the Gate that day. He was strolling by, whistling a merry tune and thinking about his daughter's upcoming birthday when he heard the guards shift almost imperceptibly. His gaze switched immediately to the open gate, where he witnessed a group of ANBU racing towards him, one of them oddly bulky, with something extra large on his back.

For ANBU to come in the front gate, it must be serious. Inoichi intercepted the first ANBU to arrive, who was sporting a deep gash to the arm and an exhausted expression. "Jonin, right?" he huffed.

"Yes."

"Identification code."

"005492."

"Find my comrade. He needs help."

"Injury?"

"You'll see."

Inoichi sidestepped the ANBU officer, who set off in the direction of Hokage Tower. He approached the ANBU he assumed the man had been talking about, and realized that he was carrying someone.

"Are you injured?"

"Get him to the hospital! Don't waste time!" wheezed the ANBU.

Inoichi hoisted the person from the tired ANBU, and nearly gagged at the smell of rotting flesh. "Is he alive?"

"It's Morino. Go!"

Inoichi put him on his back and ran, his mind reeling. Morino had been missing for over a month, presumed dead. Was this emancipated stranger really Ibiki? The longer he spent on Inoichi's back, the more bodily fluids that drenched his clothes. The man's head knocked against Inoichi and smeared the back of his neck with blood.

If this really was Ibiki, Inoichi seriously doubted he would survive the night. Ibiki had been a big man, taller than even Jiraiya. The person he had carried here was smaller than most genin, skin stretched taut over bone. He hadn't had time to get a good look, but he assumed that he was heavily injured by the blood and the horrible smell that choked him even now.

He reached the hospital and unceremoniously dumped the bleeding man into the arms of a nurse, who stifled a gasp and hurried away with him. It was then that Inoichi got his first look- and nearly threw up. Now he recognized him as Ibiki, but wished he hadn't. He was covered with open wounds and crusted, infected sores, the worst of them hastily bandaged by the rescue squad. Unwashed limp brown strands of hair hung from his head in clumps, a far cry from the clean-cut hair Ibiki normally kept. The thickest bandage was on his head, which although wrapped tightly was dark with blood. Inoichi could see ragged bone through the torn flesh in several places and the half-healed scars from the earliest days of imprisonment.

Inoichi sat in a plastic hospital chair, the ridges digging into him uncomfortably. He stared at his hands, his day turned upside-down by this. He had known Ibiki, worked with him, even gone drinking with him once or twice. Ibiki had a sharp sense of humor tempered by a seriousness that never completely left, something Inoichi had liked about the man. He knew Ibiki had been raising his brother since the death of their parents, shortly after Idate was born. He knew it had led to the slowing of the time it took for Ibiki to become a chunin. He knew were he worked, that he was good at it, and that he didn't entirely dislike it. Inoichi had figured this was all he needed to know. Taking a deep breath, he paced the hall, his sandals hardly making a noise on the linoleum floors.

He was a ninja who was accustomed to death, who had grown up around it, become a man around it, married around it, and had a daughter with the full realization that some day she might go on a mission she'd never come back from. That feeling was one he'd become accustomed to, even comfortable with.

But what happened if you came back from a mission you had every right to die on? Even the thought chilled his blood. It was ridiculous- he worked with the men and women who had succumbed to that possibility, sucking the memories out of them without a thought to what happened to them. They almost never make it home- most of them were executed, unless an ally of Konoha's demanded their return. In all his years he had never even bothered to think about what happened to them once they came home, what their quality of life was. He wished the best to those nameless souls who had suffered at the hands of the Leaf in the name of justice, as they were just trying to serve their own village or meet their own goals, whatever they may be. Filled with a melancholy sense of impatience and unhappiness, he couldn't bring himself to either sit back down or leave, so he approached the nurse at the desk. He hesitated after seeing her disapproving look, but plowed on regardless.

"Do you have any info on the man they just brought in?" he asked, his hands gripping the front of her desk, slowly turning white from the pressure.

She raised an eyebrow. "Which man? This is a shinobi hospital, you know."

"The highly injured one." he pressed.

Her condescending expression didn't change.

"Ibiki Morino." he finally clarified.

Her expression fell into one of guarded disinterest. "I'm sorry, that information is classified to everyone but the Hokage and his close family."

Out of a sudden desperation fueled by Inoichi's sense of empathy and curiosity, he blurted, "I'm the closest he has to family. His only brother died just a month ago, and he has no one else. I'm all he has."

The nurse's eyes softened just a little bit. Inoichi hoped it would be enough to get him info, but he wasn't sure, so he continued. "I was the one who brought Ibiki back, and he looked-" Suddenly, Inoichi couldn't put it into words, how bad Ibiki had looked. How certain he had been at first that this person was not alive, that this couldn't be Ibiki because Ibiki wasn't dying like this, bleeding out into his arms. He couldn't explain why this was so important to him either, but it turned out that he didn't need to, as the nurse led him to the ICU's biggest and most private room, reserved for high-ranking ninja who would be there for quite some time.

He stood there waiting, staring at the blinds that hid Ibiki from view, thoughts running wild in his head. Why was he even here? Hadn't he been headed on a stroll through the village, planning on heading home and spending some time with his wife and daughter? Now he was standing in the ICU, waiting to hear from a doctor about the condition of a man he barely knew.

Eventually, Shizune stepped out of the room, sighing deeply. She removed her doctor's mask as she did so, and Inoichi noticed that it was splattered with blood. She noticed Inoichi, and strode over to him.

Inoichi was grateful that it was Shizune who was Ibiki's doctor. She was the head of staff when Tsunade allowed her to take some time from their travels and return to her home. Tsunade herself was the only one whose expertise could top Shizune's, and she wouldn't return to Konoha even for a day.

"Inoichi?" Shizune seemed surprised to see him, although in a resigned way, like she was too tired to really question it.

"I'll all he has." he repeated, realizing that it may very well be true. No one else had come running to see what had happened, even though what happened at the gate had probably caused a commotion and it had been more than an hour since Ibiki had arrived at the hospital. Ninja moved fast- if someone was coming, they would already be there.

Shizune nodded wearily. "Well, he's still alive, for now."

"Do you expect him to make it?"

"An hour ago I would have said no, but now…anything could happen. That man is one hell of a fighter, I'll tell you that much. I've never seen any shinobi with injuries as severe as his, and I've worked in this hospital since I was twelve. This goes beyond all human boundaries of morality and decency. Maybe it's because I was raised here, but I've always assumed even interrogators had some basic respect for human life," Shizune leaned against the wall, her shoulders sagging. "Would you like to know what his injuries are?"

"If you want to tell me."

"It's a long list. You're the one who brought him in, right?"

"Yes."

"So you'll understand what I mean when I say I can't even begin to describe it. Most of the injuries you saw were the minor ones, relatively speaking." Shizune's voice was rising out of pent up frustration. Inoichi recalled the injuries that were supposedly minor and felt sick to his stomach.

"Both of his arms are dislocated and broken in the standard torture position-" she was referring to the position that prisoners were commonly held in, where their arms were suspended above their head- "and both of his legs are broken in multiple places, his left significantly worse than his right. Putting it simply, his hands are crushed, along with his everything below his ankles. His jaw is broken, as are _all _of his ribs, his nose, his back, and his neck. His head trauma is so severe that we can't tell how bad the brain damage is. There could be none, or he could spend the rest of in a hospital bed. That is, presuming he gets through the next week."

"He's alive?" said Inoichi in disbelief.

"I'm just getting started. We had to reconstruct several of his internal organs and reset most of his bones. He was exposed to fire several times, and has third-degree burns all over his body. Severe sexual abuse over a prolonged period, and there is evidence of excessive shock torture. He's been drugged up with a hallucinogenic and several complicated antibiotics that are probably the only reason he's still here. He's missing all of his fingernails, and he was circumcised probably two weeks ago. I found evidence of whips, broken glass, blades, cigarette burns, acid…The infection is a major problem. It's taken an entire teams of medics just to keep him alive this long." At seeing Inoichi's look she cut off. "It's horrible…absolutely horrible."

"I know." Shizune seemed to be on the verge of tears, and Inoichi didn't know what to tell her. Half of him just wanted to be at home. The other half wanted to sit down and cry with Shizune.

"There's more…"

"There can't be," he whispered. He wanted to sit down, or throw up. "I'm sorry, Shizune, but I don't want to know any more. I'm not so invested in Ibiki that I can do this. Spending this much time in the hospital drains me."

"I don't blame you…I'd better get back in there anyway. We're still working on him. You know…" She paused as she entered the door, pulling on a new doctor's mask. "I'd say the only thing he's got going for him right now is that he isn't conscious. That would be too much for _anyone_ to go through." She shut the door.

As he walked home, Inoichi couldn't help wonder what she meant. Everything Ibiki had already been through was beyond imagining.

And for the first time, it occurred to Inoichi to wonder if they broke him. How much information had they gotten out of the man? Ibiki, who rarely went on field missions and was-_had_ been- rising through the ranks of ANBU so fast that rumors went around that he'd be head of T&I in a year, had been trusted with some of the very most important documents the Leaf had to offer. The big man, while intimidating, was someone you could easily pledge your trust to. Although young, his position in the Leaf was high. They had all trusted Ibiki with everything they knew about border positions, the patrol squads' shift changes, all the Intel they received from prisoners...If they had Ibiki for over a month, how long did they have until that info was put to use?

And who was they? Out of the five Great Nations, it was only Stone that had any remaining animosity with, resulting from the Third Ninja War, and their shared peace treaty forbade the disregard for human rights as had been displayed…although that didn't mean anything, what with the Foundation creeping out of the corners of the Leaf, and Inoichi was sure that the Stone had something similar.

But this wasn't their style. Iwa, along with Konoha, had adopted a quicker and more humane practice when it came to dealing with prisoners. This also ruled out most of the practices of the other three villages…

Then he remembered. It was when Idate had defected that Ibiki had gone missing, and Idate had been killed after stealing the Thunder Sword of the Nidaime and of the scrolls of sealing. Aoi Rokusho…wasn't that the name of the chunin who ran to the Rain? Inoichi mentally slapped himself for not connecting it much earlier. The Rain, which was known for its backwards practices that lead to its being a lower status than the other villages (contrasting sharply with Hanzo of the Great Salamander, who was the most famous member of the Rain village), might just be barbaric enough to torture Ibiki to that extent.

Inoichi thought of Ibiki's career then, and what it meant to the village. He was a valuable asset, hardly easily replaced. He doubted Ibiki could return to his work now, not ever. Yes, ninja returned to shinobi life after being tortured (the Hatake kid was one example), but it was doubtful that Ibiki would ever function normally. That was, _if_ he survived. For a brief moment, Inoichi almost wished the man _had_ died, It would certainly be easier on Ibiki.

Inoichi was startled out of his thoughts when he reached home. Ino, who was turning 10 soon, rushed towards him and hugged him around the middle. "Daddy! What took you so long?"

Inoichi shrugged, not wanting to explain himself. "I stopped by the hospital. Sorry for the delay."

His wife Tonakai, who was related to Shikaku in some distant way (second cousin or something), smiled at him from the door to their home, her brown hair down around her shoulders, as she refused to put her hair up in the customary Yamanaka way.

"You've been out for hours! Where were you?" Tonakai yawned, a half cleaned dish at her side.

He kissed her cheek and promised to explain it later. His well-furnished home and flower shop seemed surreal and too bright to look at, and he closed his eyes briefly.

"Dinner's ready."

Inoichi made some dumb joke he couldn't remember, and sat down to eat. But as he looked at the food, he just felt nauseous, thinking about Ibiki. He raised the fork to his mouth, and with someone else's ears listened to Ino's chatter about Sakura's latest faux pas and his wife's soft voice talking about her lunch with Yoshino.

He put his fork down.

He couldn't eat.

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I have more time! :) (Library computer)

Anyway, as you proabably figured out, Tonakai is an OC for Inoichi's wife, because I figured she needed a name. I think it means reindeer. If Ibiki's injuries seem excessive, remember that this all happened in the course of a month and these are ninja, who possess healing chakra (although my inner sadist gleefully notes that this doesn't heal scars).

Ibiki will actually be in it next chapter! :) This is a hurt/comfort manly thing, so it is not yaoi. At all. Inoichi is happily married. Usually I wouldn't have to say that, but with our fandom...

I said the Foundation instead of Root, but I'm not sure which one's more correct. I believe the dub says the Foundation, but I also read online translations, which say root, and that's what i'm more up to date in...

The name of the fanfiction, Deal Me A Bad Hand, refers both to Ibiki's life and that Ino-Shika-Chou, which is the name of their formation, is also a winning hand in Hanafuda, a Japanese card game.

Please review! :)


	2. Chapter 2

i don't own it.

One review, so I'm not too worried about how long my updates take. This chapter is short cause it's from Ibiki's perspective. Enjoy

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He was barely conscious in a sea of pain, trying to circumvent the agony that plagued him. He didn't try too hard- he'd been hurting forever now. He drifted in and out of coherence, wishing vaguely that he could just go somewhere he didn't hurt like this. The thought was gone as soon as he recognized it, and he fell back into a sleepy stupor.

He heard voices at the edge of his hearing, and wondered what horrible genjutsu he was under now. What he wouldn't give to be at home now, alone. He hadn't been alone for days, weeks...he didn't know. He had no measure of time anymore. The only time he slept was when he passed out. What was he now? Was he passed out again? He didn't know what was reality and what wasn't anymore. The sleep could be fake. Everything or nothing could be fake, he didn't know.

He wanted to dispel the genjutsu that must have been affecting him, so he tried to raise his arms and form a hand sign. After a moment, he remembered that his arms were most likely not going to respond to him. The details of the imprisonment were indistinct, but he knew that he was in pain, would always be in pain. He recalled the sensation of having a nail pushed into his head and longed to be away from that horrible place.

"Ibiki."

His name. That was his name. When they said his name it meant he would be punished, that he could expect more hurt. He braced himself, but it was not forthcoming. The only pain he was feeling was the horrible throb of his body as it cried out to him. Confusion clouded his mind.

"Are you awake?

Was he? What was awake? If awake meant having to be tortured, could he not be awake?

"Ibiki, if you can hear me, open your eyes."

No. He couldn't say anything. Nothing. He didn't recognize the voice, but that didn't mean anything. They were frustrated enough to have had to send for someone else. He felt a strange pride in his resolve, in his loyalty to the village.

Open his eyes. They hadn't asked him to speak, just to open his eyes. When was the last time he had done that? When had he last been capable of opening his eyes? Was that something you could alway do, and he had just forgotten? The horror of this life he was in choked him, and he eyes flew open. Light seared his retinas, and he shut them quickly. They were going to blind him now. They were correct in thinknig that he didn't need sight to anwser questions, so they were going to blind him. Now it wouldn't matter if he opened his eyes or not. He wouldn't talk, though, no matter what they did to him. He hadn't said a single word since that day they had captured him, since Idate had gone. Screams of pain, but not a word.

"Ibiki."

His name again. It caught his attention, and he tried to focus on the voice. It sounded familiar. He ran through people in his mind, but in his exhaustion only the Yamanaka man came to mind. Inoichi...was that his name? Did he even _have_ a name? Was he even _real?_ He didn't know.

If it was Inoichi, he wondered why. Why would they delve into his mind and look through the images they found, the ones Ibiki hadn't put under mental lock and key, and pick Inoichi to tempt him with? They had already tried his parents, friends, Idate...anyone and everyone close to him. Why Inoichi? Was that all they had to chose from anymore? Was he the only one they could grab and twist until he too was unrecognizable?

"Ibiki, you're safe."

At that he choked down a sob. Safe. He wished he was safe, he really did. But he would never be safe, not as long as he was in the enemy's just wanted release, to be alone or dead. But he wasn't, because they needed him alive to talk. They needed him alive to hear his screams.

"Open your eyes again, Ibiki. Please."

It must be a trap. It had to be. Maybe they had a jutsu that could read memories through his eyes? No, that didn't make sense. Did it? He didn't know. He didn't know anything anymore.

He cracked his eyes opened again and was met with the same searing pain. He shut his eyes. It was true, they were blinding him.

"Stop it, Inoichi! His eyes aren't adjusted to the light yet." It was a completely unknown voice, and Ibiki tensed. Was that...concern in her voice? What was going on? She had to be faking it.

"I didn't know. Sorry." There was genuine sympathy, and it frightened Ibiki. This was different from the usual genjutsu and it scared him.

"Ibiki, you won't believe me when I say this, not at first, but you're not with the enemy anymore. An ANBU team found you in an abandoned base. You're in the Konoha Hospital."

He wanted to believe. At this point, he wanted to believe anything. It would explain why Inoichi was there, why he felt better, why no one had come to torture him in over three days. But there was no way to prove it, no way at all.

Unless...he could ask Inoichi something, something that wasn't vital to Konoha's safety, or even relevant, but something only a Leaf shinobi would know. He realized how desperate he was to even consider this.

He opened his mouth and found himself blocked by a breathing mask. The nurse muttered a little to Inoichi, who replied, but Ibiki didn't catch it. He gasped, trying to dislodge the mask over him. He needed to confirm this so he could relax, be at peace. He needed to know if he was safe or not, he _needed_ to. He shook a little, flashes of light erupting across his closed eyes indicating pain. He ignored it.

Suddenly he felt the mask lifted from his face. "Make it fast, Morino, you don't have much time."

He took a breath and coughed violently. "What is...the...the saying...above...the Leaf's...jonin lounge?"

If Inoichi was surprised he didn't betray it in his voice. "Human life is varied."

Ibiki lost it. Even as they replaced the breathing mask he couldn't help crying thick tears of relief. They ran over his new scar and all the way down to his chin, where they lingered before falling. He was safe.

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Reviews please! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Dislcaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Sorry for the long wait. I've got a lot of things going on.

This isn't my favorite chapter, but it'll do. Part of the reason it took so long was because of this Negima fic I've been writing that's taking FOREVER. It's ten thousand words so far.

Anyway, Enjoy!

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It had been a few days since Inoichi had gone to help Ibiki wake up, and he hadn't visit since. He was avoiding him on purpose and he knew it. Ibiki in the hospital like that...it had woken memories that Inoichi would rather have forgotten, memories of the wars when your comraes who be murdered in front of you, when you could take a walk in the forest only to trip on a freshly mangled corpse.

Ibiki had been bandaged from head to toe, with braces on most of his body to help his bones heal. His jaw had been wired, his mutilated fingers hidden from view by a blanket that draped over his body, which was so thin you could see every bone. Honestly, from Inoichi's point of view, if it weren't for the machines hooked up to him and the beeping monitor, he would've thought he was looking at a corpse.

When Ibiki had first woken up he hadn't actually been in the room, but as Ibiki's only visitor they'd grabbed him and given him the task of convincing him that he wasn't in a genjutsu. Inoichi had been, and still was, incredibly impressed by Ibiki's mindset. His first thought had been to ensure the safety of Konoha before all else. Was it possible that Ibiki _hadn't _given any information up to the enemy? It was mind-bogging to think about, considering the depth of his injuries.

He'd been moping around his house for the last few days, and his wife was about ready to throw him out and send him to the hospital. He didn't blame her, considering his mood. So he did wat he knew he should, and he visited Ibiki.

This time the man looked slightly better. His eyes were open, although slightly glazed, and he seemed aware of his surroundings. Inoichi sat at the chair by his bed. "Good afternoon." he greeted, giving Ibiki a small smile.

Ibiki didn't react, just lifted his top lip to show that his remaining teeth had been glued together to go along with the wired jaw. Inoichi nodded in response.

"Sorry."

Ibiki shrugged, and then winced.

"I hope you're feeling better."

Ibiki shook his head a little from side to side. Inoichi glanced at the thick gauze wrapped around Ibiki's head and remembered the blood that had seeped onto his neck when he'd carried him to the hospital.

"Anko asked me about you. As soon as she's allowed, she's planning on visiting you. So are the Hatake kid and Guy."

Ibiki's face was expressionless, but he didn't seem too opposed to Inoichi's talking, so he continued rambling on until a nurse ushered him out. From then on he visited him every day, simultaneously assuaging his feelings of guilt and giving something for Ibiki to (hopefully) look forward to.

The second week he came in he stumbled across an unpleasant scene. He knew from the nurses that Ibiki was getting his jaw unglued and his teeth fixed up, so that he would in some extra pain, but what he walked in on was a much bigger pain in the ass, at least for him. Danzo and two high-ranking masked ANBU were in the room, interrogating Ibiki, who was pale and even more sickly looking than usual.

"Inoichi," hissed Danzo. "We're busy."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" growled Inoichi in response. "Do you really think he's in the shape to answer your questions?"

"We need to know the information he compromised today, before it causes too much damage." replied the nasty old coot.

"You'll have to wait. He's not capable right now-"

"Are you saying one man's health is more important than this entire village's?" snarled Danzo. The two ANBU remained silent.

"No, but he may not have even _given_ any information. I'm beginning to believe-"

Danzo cut him off with a harsh laugh. "You're joking, right? Look at the damage on this man's body. He'll probably never walk or hold a bowl again. Do you really think he didn't compromise the integrity of this village?"

Inoichi opened his mouth to reply when he was cut off by a rasping, cracked voice.

"I...did not...break."

Inoichi closed his eyes briefly, feeling his stomach sink. He didn't think this was going to end well.

"Excuse me?" asked Danzo.

"I...did not...break." repeated Ibiki, his face taut with the effort of speaking again after so long.

"You'll forgive me if I don't believe you." responded Danzo icily.

"Then...have Inoichi...check."

Danzo stared at Inoichi. "That sounds like a good idea to me."

Inoichi shook his head vigorously. "Invading someone's mind is a very invasive procedure, and without the right equipment it can be very painful."

Danzo shrugged. "It was his idea. I doubt Ibiki will overly care about the pain." His insensitivity was mind-blowing.

"I'm still not doing it. If you can wait until Ibiki has improved a little-"

"Do it now."

Inoichi glanced at Ibiki, who met his eyes. Beneath all the gauze and injuries he could see a determined man.

"Fine," he sighed. "I will."

He approached Ibiki, placing his hand on Ibiki's head, gritting his teeth at the still slightly present rotting smell and the unnatural squishiness of his skull. He ignored Ibiki's involuntary grunt of pain and delved deep into Ibiki's mind.

The first memories he saw were simple. Quick flashes of his childhood and parents passed by, of holidays and ice cream and his mother getting drunk and beating him. Then Idate, Idate's birth and Ibiki's parents' death and his taking on several jobs in addition to raising Idate. His work as interrogator and the brutal things he had to do. Idate's betrayal-

There. He'd found it. As soon as he did he ended up retracting from Ibiki's mind and throwing up on the spot, his stomach emptying its contents from the sickening images he glimsped.

"Continue." said Danzo, his tone bemused.

Ibiki stared ahead blankly and Inoichi returned to his work, feeling dizzy and sick. He immersed himself in the details on his imprisonment, hearing every scream and cry, watching every beating and torture. He saw Ibiki raped and stabbed, his skull burned and his fingers smashed. He saw Ibiki curse and cry and yell at the wall at talk lovingly to nothing. He saw the interrogators step it up more than once, finding even more effective ways to cause pain, injecting him with excruciating drugs and confusing him with genjutsu and ripping into his body with inhumane pleasure. Ibiki hid nothing from him, and Inoichi was forced to watch each and every time Ibiki was hurt. He watched him sob and laugh, but the one thing he never saw him do was say a single word. He retreated from Ibiki's mind and shook his head at Danzo.

"He didn't break."

"Are you sure?" growled Danzo.

"Do you actually think I'd compromise the village for the sake of my pride? Of course I'm sure. He didn't say a word."

"I think you're crazy."

"I'm not. I mean it. Have Aoba or Tonbo check me if you want."

Danzo finally acknowledged him with a short, brisk nod. "We're leaving." He and the ANBU left, and Inoichi sat by Ibiki's bed.

"Didn't that hurt?"

"Yes."

"Why would you voluntarily offer to do that? It's such an invasion of privacy."

Ibiki looked at him, his lips turned upward in a facsimile of a smile. "Now you've seen what happened. Now you can help me."

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Review and tell me what you thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. Or Jack Rakan. Though I will soon own a Jack Rakan costume I will force upon my friends.

Sorry this chapter took so long. I hope you like it! Enjoy!

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Inoichi now went to the hospital three times a week to visit Ibiki. Contrary to their promises, no one else had taken out the time to see the injured ninja, so Inoichi tried to make up for it in length of his visits. While often drugged up and always in pain, Ibiki was much more aware now and capable of holding a real conversation. His movements were equivalent to a paralyzed patient- he couldn't move an inch from the neck down, and his skull was always bandaged so thickly he couldn't even turn his head. The TV in his room faded in an out all day and only got soap operas and game shows, so Inoichi tried his best to think of interesting things to say. Ibiki asked asked about his wife and child, and Inoichi always gave him lengthy responses.

The nurses were constantly present, changing his bandages and fluffing his pillows, giving Ibiki encouraging smiles and talking to him. Inoichi, who'd suffered at the hands of angry nurses before, wondered why they were so kind to him when he meant so much extra work for them.

Ibiki had a nearly perfect facade that at first fooled Inoichi into thinking he was unchanged, but as Inoichi spent time with him he started noticing things. Ibiki never quite met his eyes when he said things or spoke in sentences consisting more than fifteen words. When Inoichi was there at mealtimes, Ibiki always waited for him to leave the room before he ate, even if Inoichi had just gone to the bathroom. Ibiki never complained of pain, not even when his limbs were shaking and his breathing unnaturally harsh.

Over the weeks Ibiki slowly began to improve. Most of his minor wounds and bones were healed, with only his head, torso, back, hands and feet still hurt. They didn't unbandage him though- Inoichi knew that growing accustomed to his many scars would be hard for Ibiki. Ibiki's physical therapy started, and he worked harder than anyone Inoichi had ever seen. Most ninja had only one or two limbs that needed help- Ibiki had to relearn all of them. When Inoichi came to visit Ibiki was so tired he could only mumble what he was thinking, always on the brink of sleep. Inoichi didn't see any improvement, but he wasn't a doctor. Ibiki's hands were still so mutilated that he knew it would be tremendous task for him to ever get them to full capacity again, and his feet had many tiny fractures in them, crisscrossing them as if a captor had stomped on them over and over again.

Inoichi constantly asked the nurses for updates on ibiki's conditions, and they consistently told him the same thing- Ibiki was steadily improving. It felt like a snail's pace to Inoichi, and he could imagine how horrible it was to Ibiki.

He figured out why the nurses were so nice to Ibiki- Ibiki was the perfect patient. His kindness and politeness greatly outweighed the high level of care he required. With some guilt, Inoichi could recall what a stubborn asshole he was when hospitalized, but Ibiki wasn't anything like that. He always treated each nurse with the respect of a doctor and, when a nurse was preoccupied, told her she could come back to him later when she wanted to. Of course, this was a little problematic when Ibiki didn't get a dose of morphine when he needed it and spent most of one afternoon in painful convulsions. The nurse responsible was severely punished by Tsunade, and Inoichi couldn't help ask Ibiki why he was so nice to the hospital staff.

"My mother was a nurse. She always complained about her patients' ungratefulness. Therefore I do my best to be kind to them."

Inoichi was surprised by this. He hadn't known Ibiki's mother was a nurse. He decided to do some more research on the Morino family. Was Ibiki the last living member, now that Idate was gone?

He didn't have to wait long to find out.

The six month anniversary of Ibiki's hospitalization hit, and Inoichi knew it must suck to be still so far from leaving. At this rate it could be more than a year before he even made it outside again...Inoichi tried to cheer Ibiki up by bringing Jiraiya's new novel with him to visit, but only succeeded in embarrassing both himself and Ibiki. The nurses happily cooked up a gourmet meal (by hospital standards) that was most delicious and easy for Ibiki to eat. They were actually having a good time when there was a knock on the door, and a nurse called, "Morino-san, you have a visitor."

"Who is it?" asked Ibiki, surprised in a sad sort of way. Inoichi had avoided mentioning Ibiki's lack of visitors, because even the slightest mention of it put Ibiki in a foul mood.

"He says he's related to you." The nurse, a pretty brunette, bit her lip. "Should I let him in?"

"Related to me? I don't know anyone alive who's related to me."

"He says he's your cousin."

"Let him in."

The nurse nodded briskly. "If you say so."

Ibiki glanced at him, and Inoichi could see the worry in his eyes. Ibiki wasn't strong enough to lift his own glass of water, let alone deal with some crazy relative.

The man entered, and Inoichi's sensitive ninja nose was assaulted with the smell of alcohol. Ibiki didn't seem to notice it, and Inoichi resolved to see if he was ignoring the smell or if Ibiki had yet another medical problem.

"M'name's Kotaro. Kotaro Morino." He was a big man, just like Ibiki had been before he'd been captured, possibly even taller. His greasy hair was spiked and fell to his shoulders in the same way that Idate's had.

"What do you want?" asked Inoichi, speaking for Ibiki, who was eyeing the stranger with distaste.

"I heard Ibiki-kun was in the hospital, so I hightailed my ass over here to visit him," smirked Kotaro Morino. "It's the nicest thing I can, considering we're family." Inoichi doubted this, because "hightailing" implied that he would get there in the first few days, not months.

"I remember you now," said Ibiki through gritted teeth. Inoichi recognized this as one of the signs that his drugs were wearing off and quickly pressed the morphine button, hoping Kotaro wouldn't notice. "You're the deadbeat civilian that stole a good deal of my father's money to gamble in some Fire Country slum."

Kotaro put his hands up in mock defense. "The past is the past, right? I figured you wouldn't hold a grudge."

"That was a year before he died. I couldn't used that money to live on. It would've made my life a lot easier."

"Hey, I didn't know he was gonna kick the bucket, all right! I'm sorry about that, but that's not why I'm here."

"And why _are_ you here?" muttered Inoichi.

"I was just thinking, with me being your only relative and all, and you being in this condition, that if you were to write a will you might add me in it..."

Inoichi couldn't believe what he was hearing. Six months in the hospital, and now this creep comes out of nowhere to blatantly ask Ibiki for money, assuming he was going to _die_? Were more of these people going to crawl out of the woodwork?

Kotaro fidgeted. "Don't look at me like that. A man's got to make his living. I'm not trying to say that you're going to die or anything, you've held up pretty good so far, so who's to say?" He laughed nervously and moved to stand beside Ibiki's bed. "I bet the bandages are almost ready to come off, right?" He jokingly punched Ibiki in the head.

That was the last straw. Inoichi knew that, even with the slightest pressure, any contact with Ibiki's damaged skull would result in gut-wrenching pain. The first time it happened Ibiki had bitten his tongue through because his convulsions were so intense. Even before Ibiki let out a low moan of pain Inoichi had thrown a punch at Kotaro that sent him flying to the wall.

"My j-jaw..." blubbered Kotaro. "You broke my jaw!"

"If you ever fucking come near him again I will have you arrested and executed for assaulting a member of ANBU, you hear me?"

Kotaro stood there, trembling. Inoichi raised his hand again, and he stumbled out of the room.

He sat back down and studied Ibiki, whose pain had subsided a little.

"Sorry about that," he said softly, wiping an involuntary tear from Ibiki's eye. "I won't let that happen again. You're safe with me."

* * *

Kotaro Morino probably won't show up again, becuase I dislike generic OCs. I hope it was still good. Review please! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- Quikcer update than usual! Yay me! ...Flashback to London Tipton...I'm never saying that again...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

* * *

Ibiki pulled on his shirt, his hands feeling large and clumsy. He was still getting used to using them again, even after all the therapy and surgery. It had taken a long time for him to get his fingers to move normally, but when he had it had marked the one of the last stages of his recovery.

He sighed. He was going home today. He didn't really know what he would do with himself. Technically he was only on an indefinite period of leave, but he knew that no one thought he would ever return to being a ninja. He was determined to anyway, since he didn't know what else to do with his life. Protecting Konoha was the only thing he knew how to do. His uselessness in other aspects in life had been confirmed when he'd failed Idate the way he had.

He stared down at his bandaged hands. He had refused to remove a single bandage, no matter how healed an injury was. He still had to come back to the hospital every other day for physical therapy, and until that was over he wouldn't feel like he was fully healed...if he ever would. He knew he was kidding himself. He knew the real reason was because he didn't want to see his ugliness.

As he pulled on gloves and a hat to cover his bandaged and injured skull, Inoichi walked in.

"Are you ready?"

Ibiki nodded. He clasped his hands behind his back, trying to stop their shaking. Inoichi had been his only friend these past few horrible months. Other than Kotaro, he hadn't had a single visitor aside from Inoichi. He knew that he didn't have a lot of friends or anything, but he'd hoped for one or two visitors. It wasn't really important, though. It's not like he'd thought about it a lot or anything.

He, hating that this was necessary, picked up the walking cane as they left his hospital room for the final time. His legs, while usable, were atrophied and weak. His left bothered him much more than his right, and he walked with a heavy shuffling limp.

They were stopped by all the nurses one their way out, all of them wanting hugs and goodbyes. He let them hug him, although the physical contact scared him. To be honest, a lot of the nerves in his body were so damaged he couldn't feel in certain places, and other people touching him made him think of all the things that had been done with him, the hot fire in his back, the whippings, the feeling of being forced to lie there as they had their way with him-

"Ibiki-kun," said Inoichi loudly. "Are you there?"

"Oh," said Ibiki quietly. "Sorry."

He hugged the last nurse and gave them a small, tentative smile. "Um, thanks for taking care of me. I, uh, really appreciated it."

He felt his heart thud in his chest as he waited for their reaction. They wouldn't get mad, right? They had no reason to be mad, but that didn't always mean they wouldn't get mad, because people got made for no reason at all, smacking him and hitting him with a vigor that he hadn't known was possible, and he couldn't do anyt-

"Oh, Ibiki-san, it was pleasure having you here," smiled the head nurse. "Take care to visit us, okay?"

Ibiki agreed. He liked the hospital, even if he didn't like the pain associated with it. He was afraid to leave, afraid of how everyone would look at him. His power over people had vanished, and he felt helpless and incapable of doing anything in fear that someone would hurt him in punishment.

Inoichi tugged him by the arm, and he flinched slightly. What did he do? Oh- Inoichi wouldn't hurt him. He followed the blonde man outside the hospital, going outside for the first time in nearly a year.

He couldn't help it- he smiled. Konoha was beautiful. The trees were bright green, the grass soft and short and cool to the touch. Flowers so plentiful they could be considered weeds littered the ground, blooming in abstract patterns. The birds chattered above, flying in happy circles. Even the road seemed cheery.

"Do you see that man?"

"Who?"

"The tall, skinny man. That's Morino. He got tortured on some mission and went crazy. Guess some people don't have the guts to be a ninja."

"Wasn't he an interrogator? That's ironic."

Ibiki's shoulders involuntarily hunched over. Maybe it wasn't such a good day after all.

Inoichi muttered a swear word and guide him away from the gossiping couple.

"Does everyone think I went crazy?" muttered Ibiki softly. "Is that why no one's come to visit me?

"Only the uninformed. Don't pay them any attention."

"Then everyone's uninformed."

"'Everyone' can go to hell." snapped Inoichi.

Inoichi headed in a direction unfamiliar to Ibiki. He wasn't _exactly_ sure where his old house had been, but was he was certain it wasn't this way.

"Where are we going?"

"Sarutobi had you moved. He thought it wouldn't be best for you to live in the same place."

Ibiki didn't like or dislike this idea, he was just vaguely apathetic.

"They moved some of your old things in, stocked the place with groceries and put a good security system up."

"I wonder how many ANBU they have watching me." said Ibiki, thinking out loud. Seeming Inoichi's stern look he braced for a rebuke or a slap, then remembered that this was Inoichi and he wouldn't hurt Ibiki.

"...Probably three or four." admitted Inoichi.

"That's fine." replied Ibiki. He was being honest. It would be sort of comforting to have people watching him, making sure he was all right. He knew the real reason was because they didn't want him to go crazy and go ballistic on Konoha, but he could view it as personal protection if he wanted.

Inoichi showed him around his new places, which was smaller than his old one. No room for Idate. None of Idate's toys scattered around the place. No Idate to come home to, not now, not ever. He was dead, dead in that fire, the fire that would come back and burn him and burn him over and over and-

"Ibiki?"

"Sorry." said Ibiki, sitting down on the unfamiliar couch. He noticed that he couldn't even feel the couch under him. Was the feeling ever going to come back in his body, or was he going to live the rest of his life without being able to feel? Losing the ability to touch was better than being blind, he mused. At least he wasn't dead.

Was that really such a blessing? All he had known since he'd come back to Konoha was suffering-

No. He wasn't going to think those thoughts. He needed to survive, to live so he could protect Konoha.

He must've mumbled goodbyes to Inoichi, because he wasn't there when he looked up. He was alone in a strange apartment with nothing to occupy himself with. There was no laundry to do, no dishes to wash. He couldn't go to work or train. He had one box of books, and nearly all of them where study books. A sudden tiredness hit him hard, and he felt unmotivated and uncaring. He was scared of people, of the way they would treat him, so he didn't want to go outside. He just wanted to sleep. And when he woke up...maybe eat something and sleep some more. There was nothing else to do.

Inoichi was busy with work, so he didn't have time to visit Ibiki for a few days. He worried constantly about him- Ibiki, as he healed, had fallen into a state where he would become unresponsive. Inoichi was afraid he was quickly falling into a depression. He didn't really think it was a good idea to have Ibiki live on his own, but there was no other option. Ibiki had agreed to it simply because he was afraid of not agreeing with others, and Inoichi was starting to see the serious problems Ibiki was going to have to overcome.

He finally made his way to Ibiki's almost a week after he'd first brought him home to the hospital, carrying a huge cake he'd bought in a double attempt to ask Ibiki's forgiveness for the lack of visits and to get the scarily skinny man to gain some weight.

He knocked on the door and didn't get an answer. Slightly concerned, he knocked harder.

"Who is it?" asked a slurred voice from behind the door.

"It's Inoichi."

The door opened, and Inoichi saw Ibiki and stifled a gasp of dismay. He was disheveled, wearing an old shirt that was so huge on him it pooled around him. Inoichi realized that no one had bought him new clothes and all he'd had to wear were his pre-torture ones. Inoichi could smell the body odor from here, and the bags under his eyes and unhealthy pallor on his skin suggested he hadn't been eating or sleeping well either.

"Haven't you been sleeping?" he asked, handing the cake to Ibiki, who just looked at it.

"Yeah. Lots. Nightmares."

"Or eating?"

"Been throwing up a lot."

Inoichi was taken aback. "Why?"

"New medicine. It does that."

"What about showers?"

Ibiki shot him a strange look. "Of course I take showers. The last one was...I dunno, a while ago."

"Have you done laundry? Or dishes?"

"I dunno."

Ibiki stood still and stared at his hands, and Inoichi cursed himself and the Hokage for letting Ibiki live alone. They had the ANBU watching him, but they didn't report unless Ibiki was planning to harm himself or others. Ibiki had seemed stable enough at the hospital, but now that he was alone most of the time he was incapable of taking care of himself.

"I'm sorry," whispered Ibiki. "I've made you mad, haven't I? I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me."

"Ibiki, I wouldn't hurt you." Inoichi knew he sounded exasperated, but it was only at himself. He finally realized that helping Ibiki wasn't a once-a-week thing. It wasn't something he could put off because he was busy. Ibiki needed someone there for him, someone to take care of him and be his friend every minute of the day. taking care of him was a full-time job. Otherwise his mental state would quickly deteriorate and he'd end up in the hospital again. He'd seen it happen to people with much less severe problems than Ibiki.

"I-Inoichi?" Ibiki wasn't meeting his eyes, and the tall man had a submissive and scared expression on his face.

"Yes?"

"S-Sorry."

Inoichi again cursed himself. Standing here with a scowl on his face was just worrying Ibiki and making him think he'd done something wrong. So he acted on impulse, trying to make amends.

"Ibiki?"

"Yes?" Ibiki's response was quick and nervous, like he thought he would be yelled at if he didn't answer promptly.

"I don't think this living arrangement is working out...would you mind too much if you moved in with me for now?"

Ibiki stared at him uncomprehendingly. "What?"

"We have an extra room, and Tanakai and Ino wouldn't mind you," He silently prayed that was true. "I'd just have to run it by the Hokage..."

He decided to solve that problem as quick as possible, ripping a blank sheet of paper from the back of Ibiki's thick medical records, the only paper he had on his coffee table. Using a pen he retrieved from his flak jacket, he scribbled a note addressed to the Hokage and stuck it out the window. He watched it flutter for a moment and then smiled when it disappeared out of thin air, grabbed by an ANBU, the most convenient way to travel.

"Stay with you?" asked Ibiki softly.

"Think about. First, take a shower. I'll do your laundry and your dishes, ok?"

"Ok." Ibiki shuffled over to the shower, and a moment later he heard the rushing sound of water.

He was so stupid and impulsive. Inviting Ibiki to live with him? It wasn't a bad idea, but he wasn't sure Tanakai would go for it. And Ibiki living there, with Ino in the house? Inoichi doubted that he would harm a fly, bout you never knew...but Ibiki needed it. Inoichi could see it in his eyes. They were the eyes of a lonely man, a man who needed company more than anything. If left alone, Ibiki would become self-destructive and Inoichi could never forgive himself if that happened.

He worked as Ibiki took his shower, thinking all the while. Tanakai would never stand for it, and even if she did, the Hokage would say no. Wouldn't he? And why was he assuming Tanakai would mind? His wife was a supportive, kind woman who not only was a shinobi but understood them. There was no reason to think she wouldn't welcome Ibiki with open arms. And the Hokage would jump at the idea, seeing that Ibiki was clearly incapable of properly taking care of himself. It was only him who needed convincing.

Inoichi finished the dishes and started on the laundry, wondering what the hell was happening in his mind all the while. He heard a crashing sound and jumped up, worried. Had Ibiki hurt himself somehow?

He cracked open the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" he called.

"Yeah," grunted Ibiki, who, from the looks of it, was cradling his head in his hands. "Just bumped into the sink."

"How did you manage that?"

"Had my eyes closed."

"What? Why?"

"Didn't want to look."

Inoichi understood. There was a mirror in the bathroom.

He had to take care of Ibiki. It wasn't his duty, it wasn't because he felt like he had to.

It was because he wanted to.

* * *

Bleagh, that last line felt corny. I hoped you like it! :)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Hahaha! A new update! Oh, worship me, the ten people who read this! (Many thanks to mistress-of-mist and Rinnala, my only two reviewers! :)).

Enjoy!

* * *

The Hokage, no matter how much he aged, was an impressive man. Even when you weren't in trouble, even when you knew exactly why you were waiting for him to speak, you couldn't help but be slightly nervous.

Inoichi fidgeted slightly as he waited. The Hokage finally finished briefing the Jonin squad he was sending out on a mission and addressed Inoichi.

"You wished to see me about Ibiki-kun?"

"Yes. I have some ideas about his living arrangements. I assume that ANBU have been updating you on Morino-san's condition?"

"Never assume," smiled the Hokage. "It makes an ass out of you and me."

Inoichi sighed. There were also times when his Hokage could be insufferable. "Have they?"

"Yes. Ibiki-kun hasn't been doing as well as I would have hoped." The Hokage frowned.

"Exactly. I talked with my wife and we thought...we thought it might be possible for Ibiki to stay with us until he gets better."

"Inoichi-san, he may never get better. The mind is a delicate thing, and Ibiki-kun's was brutalized to a point that no one completely recovers from."

"There's a chance, isn't there? A chance that he could fully recover."

"No."

Inoichi's eyes widened. "He doesn't seem that horrible now. He's depressed and has trouble connecting with people, but with a little effort-"

"I didn't say he couldn't function normally. I said he will never fully recover. There is a monumental difference." sighed Sarutobi.

"Let him stay with us until we know how he'll end up. It'll help him, I know it will."

"Can you deal with the consequences? I know you have a young daughter. Will you be willing to accept responsibility for his actions?"

Inoichi nodded sharply. "I trust Ibiki."

"Is that wise?" The Hokage gazed at him, his eyes dark and clever. He smoked his pipe oh-so-casually, his mind on matters of the darkest kind.

"I believe so."

"Yes, he can stay with you. I was going to suggest it anyway."

Inoichi felt a deep sense of relief. "Thank you, sir."

"Take care of Ibiki-kun. He needs it."

"I will, sir." And he meant it.

* * *

Inoichi looked around at the former guest room, now Ibiki's, and then at Ibiki. "What do you think?" he asked, smiling a little. "Is it good enough for you?"

Inoichi had moved all of Ibiki's personal items to the room, including his books, photos, and mementos. At Ibiki's request he'd brought one of the armchairs, stuffing it into the corner of the room. Ibiki seemed to like the bed and other furniture, so Inoichi decided not to worry about that.

"I like it," said Ibiki quietly. "Thank you." His eyes darted around slightly, as if not sure what to land on.

"My pleasure. Would you like to come down for dinner? You can meet my daughter and wife."

"I've met Tanakai-san before." replied Ibiki. Inoichi remembered with a jolt that Ibiki _had_ in fact met his wife once, when the Intel Division all brought their families out for dinner. He had almost forgotten the man Ibiki had once been, the big man with the dark eyes and the booming laugh. Now he was skinny and tall, with his eyes sunken in and his face scarred. He was a shadow of the man his wife had met.

"Would you like to come down anyway? My wife is a very good cook."

"If you want me to." Ibiki's voice was a barely audible rumble in his chest, and Inoichi knew that he was slowly going into a shell he may never emerge from.

"Just give it a chance."

They walked downstairs to the dining room, where Ino was sitting, braiding out her long hair. Inoichi glanced back at Ibiki, who looked suddenly very nervous. Inoichi had warned Ino beforehand that Ibiki wasn't going to be like other people, and Ino had said she understood...but did she? Inoichi was worried she hadn't even been listening.

Ibiki slid into a seat at the table and stared at his bandaged hands.

"Hello," said Ino slowly, talking to Ibiki like you would a baby. "My name is Ino. Ino Yamanaka. It is very nice to meet you."

Inoichi was relieved to see Ibiki's eyebrows raise. "If my brother had ever talked to me I would have smacked him."

Ino blushed, and Inoichi grinned. Served his daughter right.

"S-sorry." she mumbled.

Inoichi sat at the head of the table, the seat farthest from the door. Tanakai entered the room with the food, and Ibiki didn't meet her eyes, mumbling hellos and thank yous. Inoichi's heart bled for the shy man.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" said Tanakai, smiling gently at Ibiki.

"Yes. We met some time ago, at an Intel Division dinner." replied Ibiki.

"You work with my dad?" asked Ino.

"Used to." said Ibiki. he had already finished his food. He ate quicker than anyone he'd ever seen (including Hatake), but Inoichi knew it would probably be pointless to tell him to slow down.

"What did you do?"

"Paperwork mostly." answered Ibiki, avoiding the question.

"Booooring." sneered Ino, and Tanakai glared at her. "Ino! Don't be rude."

"It is!" protested Ino.

"It was." agreed Ibiki.

"Why'd you stop?" asked Ino, forgetting that Ibiki had just come out of the hospital. Inoichi sometimes wondered if his daughter even had a brain.

"Got injured." shrugged Ibiki.

"Are you going to go back to pushing papers?"

Ibiki's shoulders sagged slightly. "Maybe...if I can."

"Don't play with your food." chided Tanakai, trying to get Ino to drop the subject. It worked, because Ino started going on about diets and weight. Not the usual subject for a nine-year old.

"Speaking of diets," said Inoichi, filling another plate with food and handing it to Ibiki. "You should eat more. You're way too skinny."

"I can't." muttered Ibiki, looking down.

"You hardly ate anything." replied Inoichi dubiously.

"I really can't..."

"Ibiki-kun..." sighed Inoichi, exasperated.

"My stomach isn't big enough...it's not my fault." This last part was said so quietly Inoichi knew Ino didn't catch it- but Tanakai did, and she shot Inoichi a dirty look. He'd gotten Ibiki's medical records from the head nurse but hadn't had time to read them.

"Morino-san?" Ino propped her chin up with her hands, her elbows on the table.

Ibiki tapped his bandaged fingers against the table. "Yes?"

"There's this kid at my school named Kiba who always chases me around the yard, but Iruka-sensei never makes him stop and they," Ino pointed to her parents. "...just tell me to be patient. What do you think I should do?"

"The kid has a crush on you." said Ibiki dutifully.

"You think so? Ewwwww...Kiba smells like wet dog."

"Tell him so. You'll crush his heart, but he'll leave you alone."

"I don't want to _crush_ him..."

"Crushing isn't good..." said Ibiki, his eyes glazing over slightly, his hands pressed together tightly.

Inoichi grabbed Ibiki by the arm, and Ibiki flinched. Damn, he'd done it again.

"Ibiki-san, we've got to get you your medicine."

"Ok."

They walked upstairs, Ibiki's limp growing worse. He had to steady himself on the banister before he could walk again, and when they reached the top Inoichi could see that his face was shiny with sweat. Inoichi cursed himself yet again. He need to be more accommodating of Ibiki's needs.

When they reached Ibiki's room Inoichi examined the impressive assortment of pills. "Do you know which ones you need?"

Ibiki nodded. "...You have to check them first though."

"That's right." said Inoichi cheerfully, and Ibiki rolled his eyes, seeing right through the guise. It was protocol for a shinobi's medication to be checked before they took it, in case of suicide. Ibiki was no idiot, and he knew this. He watched Inoichi dole out the meds to him before swallowing each one with a gulp of water.

"If you don't mind me asking..." began Inoichi hesitantly. "What are they all for?"

"Mostly pain meds. Some are antibiotics. A few are to help with the internal scarring, and a couple are for depression." recited Ibiki emotionlessly.

"As long as they keep you healthy, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"I'm going to wrok on the flower shop. You can join me if you want, or you can stay here...it's up to you."

"I think I'll go to bed."

"Are you sure?" It's still early."

"Yeah. I'm pretty tired."

Inoichi left Ibiki to his own devices and joined his wife in the flower shop.

"He's very polite. He seems well-adjusted." said his wife, drifting off into the subject she knew her husband wanted to talk about as they bound flowers together.

"He was better than I expected."

"You underestimate him. I'm sure he'll be back on his feet in no time." replied Tanakai, smiling.

"Maybe...the Hokage said something different."

"He was great with Ino, wasn't he?"

"He had a kid brother he raised. I guess he knows what to say to kids." Inoichi finished one bundle of flowers and moved on to the next, his fingers happy to be working in such a familiar area.

"He needs to be fattened up. I'll get to work on expanding that appetite. How badly was he starved?"

"As close as you can get to dying without being dead." muttered Inoichi.

"Poor thing. He's so different...I wonder if he'll ever be that man again."

"I think he can do it."

"The old Ibiki wasn't the kindest person. Maybe he'll end up better this way." tutted Tanakai.

Inoichi shot her a look. "Ibiki is and has always been a fine man."

"Daddy?"

"Ino? What is it?"

Ino stumbled towards them, yawning and rubbing her eyes. "I can't sleep."

"We've been through this beofre. You don't need to stay late every night."

"No, it's that guy, Morino-san. He's making a lot of noise in his room. I think he's crying."

Inoichi froze and looked at his wife, a lump in hi throat. He couldn't speak for a second.

"Daddy, you always tell me I'm too old to cry. Is he really weak?"

Inoichi bent down and enveloped his daughter in a hug. "No, honey. Just the opposite."

"Huh?"

"When you get really, really, hurt like he was, sometimes all you can do is cry."

* * *

Reviews are welcome! :)


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

New chapter already. I'm speeding ahead! :) I'm enjoying writing this fanfic, which I hope lasts. But don't worry! No matter how great or small my motivation, I will never give up on this fanfiction. :)

Enjoy!

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"Ibiki Morino-san?"

"Yes, please. I'd like to see his files."

The secretary rummaged through a folder for a minute. "I'm sorry, those files are sealed."

"I have clearance from the Hokage."

"You also need to have permission from a Morino family member."

Inoichi pulled out a note with Kotaro Morino's signature on it. He'd wrangled it out of the man for 2000 yen. "Here."

Her eyebrows raised. "Is this real?"

"For God's sake, woman, what more do you want?" sighed Inoichi. "Can I just see the files?"

The woman glared at him. Whoops. He forgotten the cardinal rule of being a ninja- never piss of the person handling your personal matters. He apologized for his rudeness immediately, and she smiled slightly before retrieving the files.

"You can't leave the files room with them." she reminded him, and he nodded, seating himself at a wooden table. He opened the file with a little trepidation. The Morino family had never been a prominent clan, and most of the members had died out some time ago, as had happened with many clans, such as the Hatake, Mitarashi, and Shiranui.

The first page listed all the living members of the clan, and Inoichi was saddened to see only three: Ibiki Morino, Kotaro Morino, and a woman named Midori Morino, an old woman now. Recently deceased: Idate Morino. He turned another page and was met with the origins and genealogy of the clan. Inoichi, who didn't even have patience with his own clan (which he was the head of) skimmed through that. He hit what he was looking for- Ibiki's medical records. The new ones were there too, but Inoichi was surprised to see that he had already accumulated a large history of medical problems. He started at his birth certificate and went through the medical records page through page.

What he found disturbed him. At the age of two, Ibiki was hospitalized for two broken bones. His mother claimed he'd fallen down the stairs. Age four he was hospitalized for severe bruising. His mother said he'd fallen off his bike. Twice at age five for broken bones. This time he'd fallen out of a tree. Age eight he'd been beaten so badly he couldn't close his mouth. Inoichi studied the slanted, angry handwriting that the attending had used and knew that they were as aware as he was what had gone on in Ibiki's childhood.

With a sinking feeling, Inoichi remembered that Ibiki's mother had been a nurse. If these were the injuries that were so bad he had to be hospitalized, what about the injuries the doctors never saw?

He flipped to Enoki Morino, Ibiki's mother. She had been hospitalized several times as well. He then went to Sho Morino, Ibiki's father. No hospital visits whatsoever. He read Sho's shinobi record. Jonin. Influential to the council. A charmer. His mission record was unimpressive. Died at age 42. Inoichi tried to identify the reason, but it was scratched out.

He went back to Ibiki's records, by far the thickest in the file. He had graduated the Academy at age ten and had ended up in the hospital yet again. Then, as Ibiki presumably got busy with being a shinobi, the hospital visits stopped for two years.

And then they doubled. No-_tripled_. Inoichi couldn't believe what he was reading. In the span of two weeks Ibiki went from never getting injured to visiting the hospital two or three times a week. What changed?

He scanned the pages and realized what it was.

When Ibiki was twelve, Idate was born. He instantly understood. Ibiki didn't care too much when it was him getting hurt, but he wasn't about to allow anyone to hurt his baby brother.

He returned to reading, his brain whirling around in his head. When Ibiki was thirteen his mother died. The hospital visits stopped, and Inoichi assumed Ibiki just stopped visiting the hospital without his mother to tell him to do so.

When Ibiki was fourteen his father died. Shortly after, Ibiki was temporarily suspended from active duty. When he returned a year later he was demoted to Intel Division lackey, and his long climb up the paperwork-filled ladder began.

Why? Why was he suspended? Death in the family didn't warrant suspension. Inoichi looked, but he couldn't figure out why. He checked Ibiki's medical files yet again and found that he'd been institutionalized for a year at the time of his father's death. Idate had been put into foster care then.

He asked the secretary if there were any more sealed files on the Morino family, and she nodded. "One more. It's permanently sealed. Not even the Hokage can get to it."

"Damn." sighed Inoichi. "I was so close."

"I can tell you if you want." offered the secretary.

"Huh?"

She smirked. "I hear a lot of things around here, Inoichi-san. More than I should. I know all about the scandal of the Morino family. A lot of people do, actually. It's not a big as a secret as Sarutobi wanted to keep it."

"What happened?" Inoichi leaned into the desk.

"When Ibiki Morino was fourteen he killed his father with a pocketknife. He'd been beating his little brother, and he just snapped," The secretary shook her head sadly. "Poor kids. Their mother had just died, and there had been a history of abuse. His father was a strong shinobi, but Ibiki must've overpowered him in the moment. Stabbed him nearly a dozen times. When he realized what he'd done he dropped his brother off at a neighbor's, washed the blood off his hands and walked to the Hokage's office to turn himself in. They examined him for a year, making sure what he did wasn't premeditated and he wasn't unstable. As punishment the Hokage sent his career back eight or nine years, but the tough kid turned it to his advantage and became an interrogator."

"And Idate?" Ibiki was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Raised him by himself. I'm sure it was hard to get the Hokage to trust him after all that happened, but Ibiki served his time and everyone knew he cared about his little brother. I certainly don't blame him for what he did."

"You do know a lot."

"It comes with the job. Morino-san recently got back from the mission, didn't he? I heard he was in reheblitation now. If that's true, wish him the best of luck from me."

"I will," nodded Inoichi. "He'll appreciate it."

"Take care of him, Inoichi-san. The poor man's been through enough already."

"I will. I promise."

Inoichi left the records room, his mind dazed and empty. He felt dirty for prying into Ibiki's past. It didn't surprise him that Ibiki had only had a year's suspension for killing his father. In a world of murder, Ibiki's crime was understnadable, even justifiable. Inoichi couldn't find it in his heart to condemn him for it. Ibiki had already been through a lot of shit in his life, and now he had this to pull through from. It would be a miracle if Ibiki made it through as the same person.

It was a good thing Inoichi believed in miracles.

* * *

Reviews are love! :)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Sorry for the delay! I lost my flash drive, and I had to rewrite this. also, sorry it's so short! I ended it where I thought it should be ended.

R.I.P. Tequila. You were an amazing flash drive and an amazing friend. *cries*

Enjoy!

* * *

_"You just refuse to break, don't you?"_

_Ibiki didn't respond, his head against his chest. Even if he'd wanted to respond, he probably couldn't. The woman ignored this, getting close to his face, staring into his eyes. His eyes were the only part of him that betrayed his strength- the rest of him was terribly emancipated, broken, bruised and filthy. _

_She traced a pointed fingertip up his broken neck to his broken jaw. He didn't flinch._

_"I'm going to have to step this up a bit, aren't I?"_

_He would've been afraid if he'd felt anything other than pain and numbness. How? How could they step it up? He could still feel the stickiness between his legs, the mark that the last vestige of innocence had been taken from him. He did his best not to think about anything, not the fact that his virginity along with his pride and his health was gone._

_Her poisonous lips touched his forehead, and a cold pit dropped into his stomach. Even in this state he knew this wasn't good. _

_Her finger went up to his hairline, where brown matted hair was plastered to his head. She dug her finger into his scalp, and he had himself a silent chuckle. She'd have to disinfect that finger later._

_An assistant handed her something, and she positioned it above his head. Then she slammed down, and an involuntary cry ripped through Ibiki's lips. She was killing him! No, this was worse than death. She dug the screw deeper into his skull and he screamed and screamed and screamed until his voice cracked and blood and tears ran down his face._

* * *

Ibiki's eyes snapped open and he choked for a moment before he remembered the cloth he'd stuffed in his mouth and took it out. He'd had horrible nightmares for weeks now, but he didn't want to disturb Inoichi or his family, so he always made sure they couldn't hear him. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he stood up and changed into his clothes, walking downstairs. He'd slept longer than he normally did. It was almost seven thirty.

Tanakai was pacing the floor. "Ino, could you set up shop while I go grocery shopping? I really need a few things."

Ino, who was eating breakfast, pouted. "Do I have to? You promised me I didn't have to today. This is my off day."

"Please, Ino, just for a little while...your father had to go to work early today."

"It's not fair!"

"I'm sorry, honey, but I really need groceries."

"Couldn't I just get them?" whined ino.

"You know I can't trust you with groceries." snapped Tanakai.

"I'll do it." said Ibiki softly. They turned their heads simultaneously.

"Ibiki-san?" said Tanakai in surprise. "You'll do it?"

"Yeah. I have a doctor's appointment anyway. It's no big deal."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, shifting his weight off of his bad left leg.

"As long as it won't be an inconvenience." she replied hesitantly.

"It won't," he promised. "I should get out more anyway."

She pulled some bills and a grocery list out of her purse and put it in Ibiki's hand, and he realized that it had been months since he'd held real money. He knew he was getting large disability checks every month, but the only thing he did with it was to tell the ANBU to transfer most of it to Inoichi for giving him somewhere to stay.

"Are you positive?"

He gave her a rare smile. "Only fools are positive."

Ino giggled, and Tanakai smiled back. "Take your time. I gave you a little extra just in case you want to buy something for yourself."

He thanked her and left, shuffling his feet slightly. It had been forever since he'd been shopping, not since he still had Idate to shop for. He slowly walked down the street, looking at the pavement the whole time.

Eventually he started paying more attention to the surroundings. Everything was so brightly colored it hurt his eyes, and Ibiki wondered how a sinister ninja village managed to hide under such a festive atmosphere.

Walking wasn't too unpleasant. It wasn't like everyone stared at him or anything. He may have gotten a few stranger looks, but for the most part Ibiki was just another man on the street.

He entered Tanakai's favorite grocery store and purchased the items she wanted, slightly enjoying the different experience. He checked out quickly, as the couple behind the counter spoke obnoxiously slow and smiled at him constantly.

After they bagged his groceries and he was walking away he heard the woman whisper, "Poor thing. Mentally retarded, can't you tell?"

Suddenly a lump rose in Ibiki's throat, and he almost stopped and yelled at her, wanting to tell her that he wasn't mentally ill and he wasn't stupid, but his aquired fear of confrontation stopped him, and he hunched his shoulders and walked on, wishing to every deity that he could think of, hoping he could just disappear.

He paused to look at his reflection in a store mirror and wanted to run back to Inoichi's home and hide forever. He was painfully thing, with his shoulders bent and pointed. He limped, and was dressed in baggy black standard uniform clothing. HIs wore a hat and gloves, and his face was pale. scarred, and drawn, like he'd been starved for a long time. Which he had.

Worst of all, he could see the fear and pain in his own eyes.

* * *

I don't like the word retarted, but for the character I felt I had to use it...reviews are love! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's not my favorite, something about it feels awkward, but whatever...

* * *

"Ibiki Morino?"

Ibiki rose and followed the nurse into the private room. Not only did he have physical therapy every other day, he also had a doctor's appointment once a week. He didn't mind them too much, just found them mildly irritating.

"Wait just a moment, please." said the nurse, who was slightly patronizing. Ibiki didn't mind. He'd been in the care of much ruder nurses than her.

He sat in the room for a few minutes with nothing to do but stare at the wall. He needed to stop at the library on the way home. Too much idle time wasn't good for him. Even now he could feel bad memories pushing at the back of his mind, trying to command his life away from him. Sometimes he wished he could forget it all, just wipe it from his memories and let him be in peace. But that wasn't right. All memories were to be treasured, no matter how painful. They proved you were human and made up the person you were.

But sometimes the heart doesn't listen to reason, and at night he would wish he could be anyone but himself.

"Ibiki? You there?" Shizune walked it, smiling at him gently. He blinked and came back to himself.

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"Yeah."

Shizune checked her clipboard, although she knew his chart by heart. "Taking all your pills?"

"Yeah."

"How's your shoulder injury doing?" Strictly speaking, it wasn't just a shoulder wound. It spanned from the top of his left shoulder down to his mid shin on his right leg. It was the largest injury he'd had, and it was taking a long time to heal.

"There's still a small scab on my stomach, but that's all."

"Let me see, if you would."

Ibiki raised his shirt and closed his eyes, determined to see as little of his scarred chest as possible. Shizune noted this and resolved to mention it.

She ran her hand across his thin stomach, letting her green chakra heal the very last of the injury.

"There," she said. "That was your last one. You're healed."

"Not really. It still hurts sometimes."

"What hurts?" asked Shizune, concerned.

"When it rains my joints ache. When I wake up I'm so sore I can barely move. Sometimes my arms and legs hurt even when there's no reason, in the middle of the day. My back feels like it's broken and-" Ibiki cut himself off with a look of horror. "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to complain. I'm sorry, I wasn't complaining, it's nothing, really, it's noth-"

"Ibiki, calm down," reassured Shizune. "I _want_ to know if you're in pain. It's not complaining if it hurts. Tell me your pain."

"That would take a long time. I wouldn't know how."

"Try."

Ibiki hunched over on himself. "How do I know if..."

"If what?"

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Ibiki, why would I be mad at you?" Shizune, while knowing the basics of psychology, was no expect. She could tell, however, that Ibiki needed help from someone other than her.

"I dunno. I know I'm just being..."

"Being what?" Shizune put a hand on his back, and he flinched. She removed it and he relaxed.

"Am I...am I retarded?"

"What? Of course not, you're just recovering. I don't like that word, retarded. It's a cruel thing to call someone."

"Do I look like that? Like I'm slow?"

Shizune examined him. "Not to me, but I've been in close contact with you for months. To a civilian, maybe, but not to anyone who talks to you. They would be able to tell you were troubled, but they would never think that you were mentally ill. Did someone say that to you?"

"It's no big deal," mumbled Ibiki. "Could you just continue the appointment? I'm not comfortable."

Shizune sighed. When Ibiki didn't want to talk about something nothing could get him to open his mouth again.

"Speaking of not comfortable, I want to talk to you about your bandages. Now that you're healed, I need you to take them off."

"What?" Ibiki looked alarmed, as she knew he would.

"I'm not kidding, Ibiki. It's unhealthy. You're already suffering from a vitamin D deficiency, and the bandages are stopping air from getting to you and making your skin fester. You need to take them off by the end of today."

"I...have to?"

"Yes, Ibiki, you do."

Ibiki didn't reply, so Shizune said, "You'll need to face yourself eventually."

"I'd rather not."

"I know."

"But I will. I'll do what I have to to be a shinobi again."

Shizune couldn't find a response in her, so she ended the appointment. When he was gone she sat in her chair and stared at her chart, wondering how anyone could possible be so strong.

* * *

Inoichi knocked on Ibiki's door. "Ibiki, are you coming down? You spend a lot of time in your room."

He heard a stifled noise, and quickly opened the door to find Ibiki sitting against the wall, bandages trailing on the floor.

"What's wrong?"

Ibiki let out a gasping sob and buried his face in his arms. "Go away."

"No. What's wrong?"

"I'm just being stupid. It's no big deal."

There wasn't much that could move Ibiki to tears, and that meant this was serious. Inoichi wasn't going to leave him alone. He knelt on the floor next to Ibiki, shutting the door before he did so.

"What's wrong?" he repeated.

"I'm _ugly_."

"What?"

"I mean, I knew I would be, but to actually see it..."

Inoichi saw the bandages on the floor and new. "You took all your bandages off today, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Ibiki self-consciously tried to wipe the tears from his eyes, but Inoichi stayed his hand.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of." he reassured.

"Sure."

"Ibiki, believe me when I say this. You're the strongest man I've ever met. Crying is okay."

"I don't feel strong. I feel pathetic and self-pitying and _ugly_."

"Take off your shirt." commanded Inoichi.

"What?"

"Your pants, too. I want to see it. I want to see it all."

"Why? It's embarrassing. I told you, can't you see, I'm ugly. There's no po-"

"Please, Ibiki. This can only help."

Ibiki obeyed him, out of fear or respect Inoichi couldn't tell. He berated himself for ordering Ibiki around. His mental state was more fragile than he took it for.

When he looked up, Ibiki was only in his underwear, his eyes shut tight and tears leaking out. "Please don't look." he whispered.

Inoichi was glad Ibiki's eyes were closed, because his initial reaction wasn't pleasant, a mixture of shock and revulsion. He didn't make a sound and quickly composed himself, because Ibiki needed him to.

Ibiki's body was blanketed with thick, pink scars from his neck down. His hands were one large mass of scar tissue, and his stomach and back were canvases filled with lash marks, incisions, scars from beatings, scars Inoichi couldn't even fathom the origin. His arms were circled with scars, like someone had sectioned him off and ritually broken them. There were bulges in his arms and legs from metal plates, and his feet looked bigger than they should because of the metalwork. His head was pockmarked with screw holes and his whole body was covered with burn scars. One large scar ran from his shoulder to his leg and seemed to connect the patchwork of pain.

"Sit on the bed if you want," said Inoichi gently. "Talk to me."

Ibiki didn't say anything, just fisted the blanket and let more silent tears streak down his face.

"I'm scared," whispered Ibiki softly. "Look at me. I'm scared. No one will ever...ever want me. Why would they? I'm so messed up."

"Ibiki, you are not messed up. You're recovering."

"If one more person says that I'm going to punch someone," said Ibiki, his voice suddenly hard. "Will I _always _be recovering? Am I going to use that excuse the rest of my life, to explain why I'm hideous and anti-social? Because I'm _recovering_?"

"Fine. You are messed up. Everyone's messed up in some way or another."

Ibiki didn't say anything, but his bony shoulders sagged, silver and pink ridges rippling.

"Tell me about them."

"What?"

"Tell me how you got those scars. I want to know."

"But...why?"

Inoichi met Ibiki's newly opened eyes. "I want to know you."

"I'm ugly."

"That doesn't matter. There will always be someone to care about you no matter what, no matter who."

"That's not true. The world doesn't work like that."

"Maybe not for everyone," said Inoichi flatly. "But it does for you. You're not just anyone, you're Ibiki Morino, and you have someone who cares about you no matter what you look like. Please, tell me about your scars."

"What do you want me to say?" Ibiki grasped his hands together in a vice-like grip, turning the knuckles white underneath the scarred exterior.

"Relax," said Inoichi. "And tell me how you got them."

"All of them?"

"All of them."

"Where do I start?" Ibiki was putting his absolute trust in him, he could tell.

"That one." Inoichi pointed to a vertical scar on his stomach, slightly more sunken in than the others.

"That one? That's a surgery scar."

"A new one?"

Ibiki shook his head, his voice steady but a slightly pained look crossing his face. "During the torture they...they ruptured one of my internal organs and I needed surgery, so they performed it...without anesthesia. If I moved too much it would kill me, so I had to be completely silent."

Inoichi swallowed hard. "And that scar?" He pointed to a scar on his arm.

"They melted a kunai and pressed it onto my skin."

"And that?"

"A serrated whip."

Inoichi spent hours with Ibiki, examining each and every one of Ibiki's scars with him, learning the origin of every one of them. Most of them sickened Inoichi, but Ibiki, for the most part, detachedly told him about them. There were a few that visibly upset Ibiki, making his hands shake and his breathing quick. There were a few Ibiki refused to dicuss, and Inoichi came to the conclusion that he had attained some scars in a defiling way, and Ibiki didn't even want to think about it. He wanted to help Ibiki be comfortable with his scars, and to show him that he wasn't ugly. Honestly, from what Inoichi could see, he wasn't pretty, either, but scars faded, and although Ibiki was currently very disfigured, in years to come-

He was fooling himself. Ibiki's scars would be just as visible forty years from now and Ibiki knew it. Ibiki just had to accept it.

When they finished, Ibiki didn't move for a couple seconds. Then he jumped up, staggering on his left leg, and pulled on his clothes as fast as he could. Inoichi hoped his plan hadn't been a complete failure, or worse, made Ibiki hate himself even more.

Ibiki pulled on gloves and a hat, then sat on the bed. "If I don't have to look, it doesn't matter."

"Ibiki..."

Ibiki met his gaze evenly. "I understand what you're trying to do, but I'm not sure it'll work. Having me explain to you how strong I am through my scars was a good idea, but now all those memories are hanging in the pit of my stomach. I'm scared. I'm scared and I'm ugly. Nothing can change that."

Inoichi sighed. Ibiki was too smart for his own good. He teetered between unbalanced and aware of this to lucid to a complete mess on a daily basis.

"But..." Ibiki hestitated, and Inoichi saw another emotion cloud his vision. "Thank you."

"For what? It failed, didn't it?"

"Thank you for...for being here, in this room, when I needed it," Ibiki stared at his shaking hands. "I might...have hurt myself or done something stupid if you hadn't..."

"Just call me if you need me."

Ibiki looked away. "Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"Then...could you stay?" Ibiki's deep voice suddenly betrayed fear, and Inoichi was alarmed.

"Why?"

"I'm scared."

"What's wrong?"

"I...I don't know. But I'm scared," Ibiki wrapped his arms around his legs, presenting the disturbing image of a grown man curled up like a ball. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying...trying to complain. I'm just...so scared."

"Do you have any idea why?" Inoichi joined him on the bed, and Ibiki relaxed slightly.

"I don't know."

"That's all right. You don't have to."

Ibiki didn't say anything for a moment. "Your reaction when you walked in...I really am ugly, aren't I?"

Inoichi didn't know what to say, so he squeezed Ibiki's hand as he cried.

* * *

Review! :)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

This chapter's a little weird, I'm not sure if I like it or not...you tell me! :)

Enjoy!

* * *

_"Ibiki...hurt me."_

_Ibiki's scarred hands pressed against the woman's back. He could feel her- her slightly parted lips, her heavy eyelashes, her breasts pressing into his chest. More than that, he could feel the poison seeping in to him in every word she spoke, every gesture she made. He wanted to hurt her so badly. He wanted to make her pay for everything she'd done to him. He wanted her to make him hurt, but in a good way. He pressed his lips against hers deceptively gently before gripping her so hard her bones would break, tearing into her the way they had torn into him, becoming one of with her, enjoying her screams of mixed ecstasy and pain. She had made him scream, she had nearly broken him time and time again, and now it was his turn._

_He kissed her again, and this time there was no gentleness._

* * *

Ibiki woke up sweating, his sheets twisted around him in a strangled hold. He was panting heavily, and to his eternal shame he could feel an erection. He quickly hobbled out of bed and limped to the shower, making sure it was the coldest one he'd ever had.

Recalling the image of the woman who had tortured him in his mind, he felt squeamish. He had wanted to be hurt, to hurt her, in that dream. She had been the one to scar his body like this, and now he was having wet dreams about her. He felt embarrassed beyond belief, and worried this meant he was becoming a sadist.

He pulled on his clothes, standard uniform, gloves, and a hat. He wasn't allowed to wear the flak jacket because he wasn't on duty. He remembered the look on Shizune's face when he said he still wanted to be a ninja. She had looked shocked and skeptical and disbelieving. She didn't think he could do it. At times like this, _he_ didn't think he could do it.

He felt angry. Out of nowhere, he felt so angry he couldn't contain it. He had to hurt someone. He _had_ to, or he would burst. He was so _angry_, angry at himself and _her_ and the men who had hurt him and Inoichi and the Hokage and the world in general. He could feel his heart pounding, and red spots clouded his vision as overwhelming rage hit him. He had to hurt someone, anyone. Ino's room was right next door. She would probably still be sleeping. He gripped the edge of the door frame and yelled at himself, screamed and reprimanded himself, saying that he couldn't do that, _couldn't._ But he had to hurt _someone_. With no other solution, he grabbed his own wrist, the rage still burning his vision black, and snapped it. The anger disappeared and was replaced by a sharp pain. He gritted his teeth but made no sound. He'd experienced much worse.

Closing his eyes, he snapped it back into place, grunting. He put a splint on it and wrapped it in thick gauze, hiding it under his ever-present gloves. If Shizune asked him about it he would tell the truth, that there was nothing else he could have done. He would never hurt Inoichi or his family, not after they were the only ones to care about him after what happened to him.

"Ibiki, there's someone here for you!" called a voice from downstairs. Mildly surprised, Ibiki figured one of the ANBU had witnessed what had just happened and was reporting to Inoichi about it.

He trudged downstairs, stumbling down the steps awkwardly, the painful pressure on his left leg making him avoid using it as much as possible.

He saw Inoichi smiling at him, and knew that he wasn't here because the ANBU had said something.

"Ibiki-chan!"

He bristled at the nickname. Whose voice was that? It sounded so familiar...

"It's me, Anko!" Anko was smiling broadly at him, and he stared blankly.

"I'll go, if you want some time to catch up," offered Inoichi. "I'll watch the shop."

Inoichi left, and Ibiki sat down, watching Anko cautiously. He hadn't forgotten his six months in the hospital, with no one to visit him except Inoichi.

Anko looked almost the same, although she was about an inch taller and wore even less than she used to. He spotted an ANBU tattoo under her fishnet mesh.

"Hello, Mitarashi-san." he said stiffly.

Anko wasn't nearly as excitable as he had expected. "You don't need to be so formal." she reprimanded.

He stared at his hands. "I guess."

"Ibiki-san," He noticed the honorific change immediately. "I couldn't visit you, and I'm sorry. I had to go on a seven-month long mission right after I heard about you. I would've come if I could've."

"Honestly?" He didn't know it, but he looked so vulnerable it was all Anko could do not to smother him with large-breasted affection right there. And she'd thought she'd gotten the bad end of the stick. She didn't know what they'd done to the big man, but now Ibiki looked small and scared and in desperate need of attention.

"Would I lie to you?"

"Yes."

"No," she scowled. "No, I wouldn't."

"Everyone lies."

"Well, I lie, but not to you."

"I'm not sure I believe you." he admitted.

"Ibiki-chan," whined Anko. "You're so mean."

"I'm not trying to. I don't quite believe anyone about anything."

"So it's not personal?" she smirked.

"Exactly." he said, relieved.

"Holy crap, man, what happened to your social skills?" She sat on the arm of the chair and swung her legs. "You were, like, the king of manipulation. Always had me running errands I didn't even know I was doing."

"I guess."

"You never hit on me once. I never got that. Didn't you think I was pretty?"

"Yeah."

"Then why?"

"I was busy."

"Doing what?"

Ibiki felt uncomfortable. "I don't want to talk about it."

Anko smiled. "Sorry. I'm a jerk, aren't I? It's nice to be back in Konoha, although I don't like the looks I get. I'm not a traitor, ya know?"

"I know."

"Thanks. You're the only one who's not an ass to me. Probably cause you got beat the shit out of in some village's dungeons."

"Yeah."

Anko pulled a deck of playing cards out of...Ibiki wasn't really sure where.

"Wanna play?"

"Sure."

Anko knelt on the floor and Ibiki, with some difficulty, joined her. She dealt him cards.

"What are we playing?" he asked. "Poker?"

"Go Fish." she replied cheerily.

He smiled. "Okay."

They played in silence, and it was the first time Ibiki ever really understood Anko. It was also the first time anyone had understood him in a long, long time.

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Review! Tell me what you thought!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

New chapter! Yay! Honestly, I don't have much else to say...

Enjoy! :)

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"Danzo-san formally requests the presence of Ibiki Morino in Headquarters." The ANBU was wearing a mask, but judging by the inflections it was undoubtedly Kakashi. He knew Hatake wasn't in the Foundation, so Inoichi wondered briefly who was involved in this.

Ibiki stared at his hands. His loudest volume was barely more than a whisper, but Inoichi managed to hear him say, "When?"

"Now," said Kakashi, his voice neutral. 'Inoichi-san, you pay attend too."

"Of course." said Inoichi, letting a little indignation seep into his voice.

They followed Hatake to a building that was well known to be the false Headquarters of the Foundation. When they entered the meeting room, Danzo was standing, leaning heavily on his cane. He was wearing a smirk that made Inoichi uneasy.

"You requested us?" said Inoichi, when Ibiki didn't look like he was going to say anything.

"I requested Morino-san, actually. You were just allowed to tag along." said Danzo derisively.

"That's a polite thing to say to the head of the Yamanaka clan." replied Inoichi calmly.

"My apologies. Let's get down to business. Morino-san you were previously a high-ranking member of the Torture and Interrogation Squad, correct?"

"...Yeah."

"What were you planning to do after you recovered from your injuries?"

"Become a ninja again." said Ibiki immediately.

"I can't promise you anything permanent, but we think we can provide you with a little work for today."

"W-What?"

Inoichi couldn't believe what he was hearing. Danzo was having Ibiki work as a shinobi again? Ibiki was completely unstable, and it would be harmful to everyone involved. What could they possibly want Ibiki to do?

Then his blood ran cold. Oh no. Not that. Ibiki was renowned for his skill in torturing people. They wouldn't ask him to do an interrogation, would they? They knew it would destroy Ibiki, didn't they? But this was Danzo, and Inoichi knew that when it came to the individual he really didn't care. Danzo's sights were set of the village's best interests.

"We have a prisoner who has proved to be impervious to all methods of interrogation. We were wondering if you could take a look at him and see what you could do."

"I was just a lackey," said Ibiki quietly. "I'm not sure I'd be of any use."

"A lackey with a record to knock a jonin off their polished little feet." replied Danzo smoothly.

"There's no proof that I'm still any good at it."

"Tel me, will you do it?"

Ibiki glanced guiltily at Inoichi, who was silently praying that Ibiki said no while having the sinking feel he wouldn't. Ibiki's greatest dream was to be useful to Konoha, and he already had the opportunity to do so.

"I'll do it."

Inoichi swore under his breath.

* * *

The two young chunin behind Inoichi were sniggering, and Inoichi wanted to smack the both of them. He paced the hallway. Ibiki had only been in the interrogation room for a few minutes and he was already as anxious as a mother hen.

"How much blood do you think'll be on his hands?" muttered one chunin maliciously.

"He'll probably take out one of his internal organs, like his appendix of something." snickered the other.

"Probably getting out all his anger for being tortured. Too bad he was stupid enough to get caught in the first place, the pansy."

Inoichi was nervous enough without this assholes behind him. He let some killer intent seep into his gaze, boosting the scariness of the face with chakra. The two chunin scurried away.

It was only three more minutes before Ibiki emerged from the room, his face strengely pale but determined. Inoichi saw that Ibiki's hands were indeed covered with blood.

"How'd it go?"

"I have the information."

"Is the prisoner alive?"

"Unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?"

"Unfortunately for him." mumbled Ibiki. He started washing his hands at the sink, scrubbing hard but not succeeding in getting the gore out from under his fingernails. Inoichi peeked in the interrogation room and felt sick. The man was unconscious, his head slouched over. Ibiki could see the blood and gore on the man's skin, and the man was holding...Inoichi squinted. What was he holding? Inoichi involuntarily gagged when he figured it out. A kidney. The man was holding one of his own kidneys.

"I'm a bad person, aren't I?" said Ibiki softly, still scrubbing at his fingers.

"No...just..." Inoichi was having trouble denying Ibiki's claim, having trouble putting words to his thoughts. "...unbalanced...you're just unbalanced."

"I enjoyed it. Now I just feel guilty, but I enjoyed it."

"Are you all right?" Inoichi put a hesitant hand on Ibiki's shoulder.

Ibiki sighed deeply, and it wasn't the sigh of a twenty-three year old man. It was the sign of an old war veteran who'd seen too much and didn't even know if he'd fought on the right side.

But, when Inoichi thought about it, that's what Ibiki was.

* * *

Reviews are love! :)


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

I kinda wanted to deletd the last chapter because I thought it sucked, but this site was being weird, so it's still up... And now here's another one. Enjoy! :)

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_"This is disgusting..I don't mind getting laid, but he's bleeding all over this place." grumbled one of the men who'd entered the torture chamber. _

_The woman casually flicked the end of her cigarette onto Ibiki's skin, more out of habit than anything else. She knew it wouldn't break him, it didn't even register on Ibiki's scale of pain._

_Ibiki's breaths were shallow. He was more awake now than he had been in weeks, but now he would've given anything to be back in his pain-induced stupor. At least there the pain was normal, expected. Now he was afraid, so afraid that if he had anything to throw up he'd be heaving all over the place. He knew what was about to happen. He'd been dreading it. _

_The men in the room systematically ted him down in the position they wanted him in, leaving him no doubt to what they were going to do. If only he'd gone to the red light district with Hatake when he'd invited him that time. If only he'd taken Anko up on that offer last Christmas. If only he'd done it was anyone, someone, he wouldn't care if it was that damn old elder from Suna, he just didn't want to lose his virginity this way. It was fair, it wasn't right. He'd already sacrificed so much for the village, did he have to sacrifice this too?_

_He didn't let his terror show on his face, but one of then men must've felt his fear, because he chuckled almost sympathetically. "First time doing this, huh?" he sneered. _

_"It'll be over before you know it," added the other man in a tone that convinced Ibiki he was lying. He was a greasy man that Ibiki normally wouldn't have given a second glance to. Now he was holding something precious of Ibiki's in his hands, and Ibiki knew there was no escape._

_The other man patted his cheek condescendingly, but withdrew, disgusted, because of the blood and grime coating it. "You owe us one for this." he grumbled to the woman. "He's not even pretty. For god's sake, he's built like a wrestler."_

_A wrestler that hadn't eaten in two weeks, thought Ibiki wryly, trying to keep his mind off what was happening, what the greasy man was so casually touching even as they talked. _

_He would have liked to say he kept up a brave face, that he was stoic while they ripped his virginity from him in the most brutal way, but that would be lying. He cried the whole time, silent tears that betrayed his innocence. _

* * *

Inoichi paused in front of Ibiki's door. He usually didn't check on Ibiki, but Ibiki had been particularly unresponsive that day, and he hadn't heard Ino complain about Ibiki waking her up because of nightmares.

Inoichi figured Ibiki wouldn't mind if he checked up on him, so he pushed the door open and stepped in the dark room. There were nights the lights blared because sometimes Ibiki couldn't stand the dark, but apparently not tonight.

He crept up to Ibiki, hoping to find him sleeping peacefully. His hopes were dashed when he saw Ibiki's face. It was drawn, and tears crept out of the corners of his closed eyelids. To Inoichi's horror, he saw that there was a gag in Ibiki's mouth. He hadn't sensed an enemy presence. Had he somehow missed it? He hurriedly removed the gag, and Ibiki let out a crushing sob. He shook Ibiki awake, and Ibiki stared at him blankly for a moment before his eyes filled with tears.

"Ibiki, are you all right?" he asked urgently.

Ibiki saw the gag and snatched it back. "Yeah, I'm fine." he whispered.

"Did someone put the gag in your mouth?" said Inoichi, trying not to frighten Ibiki but at the same time very worried.

Ibiki sleepily shook his head. "I did it. I scream at night, and I didn't want to wake anyone up."

Inoichi was shocked. "_You _did it?"

"Yeah..." Ibiki blinked, and the tears streaked down his face all at once. He started shivering, and drew the blankets close to him. Inoichi sat on the bed, trying to think of something to say.

"You don't have to do that, Ibiki. If you have a nightmare just come to me."

"But...I don't want to disturb you."

"You won't be disturbing me, I promise." assured Inoichi.

"What if you get mad at me?" said Ibiki very softly.

"I _promise_ not to get mad at you." stressed Inoichi.

"But Ino likes me...I don't want her to hear me like this..."

"We can set up a jutsu around your room so no one can hear you." figured Inoichi.

Ibiki nodded silently, and Inoichi suddenly wondered if Ibiki had any use of his chakra. He checked, and found a chakra store, only slightly higher than a normal civilian's, fluctuating in and out of control.

"Ibiki...if you don't mind me asking, what were you dreaming about?"

Ibiki tensed, swallowing painfully. "It's embarrassing."

"No," reassured Inoichi. "It's not, trust me."

"I was twenty-three when they caught me. You knew that, right?"

"Yes, go on."

"So it's...it's my fault...I mean, ninja are supposed to take precautions against...I was warned..."

"Ibiki, be clearer."

Tears began falling down his taut face again, and his scarred hands gripped the blankets even tighter.

"It was my fault I hadn't...hadn't..." Ibiki squirmed in the bed.

"Hadn't what?"

"Hadn't lost my virginity," said Ibiki suddenly. "It was my fault it hurt so much when they...when they raped me. If only I'd been smarter, or braver, then..."

"Ibiki, be honest."

"What?"

"Think about it. Think about what you've been taught. It's not a lie. When someone hurts you like that it's never your fault. You know that."

Ibiki let out a heart-wrenching sob. "Shut up! I know, I know, I just...shut up!"

"You don't have to hold back, Ibiki, let it out."

"I'm so weak...I'm pathetic. All I can do is sit here and cry."

"You're fine, go ahead. You have to if you want to recover."

"I'm...I'm a failure." whispered Ibiki.

"No, you never broke, you never told our secrets," reassured Inoichi.

"But I _did_ break...I didn't tell them anything, but I cried. I let them see weakness, I broke a shinobi rule, I'm a failure, I cried so much, Inoichi-san, I'm pathetic."

"You've been _through_ so much, Ibiki, you can break down. You've made it this far, and you're very strong for doing so."

"I'm _pathetic_...it...it hurt so much, Inoichi-san, I'm a_ rape victim_, it's so...humiliating...to say that, you know? I...I just...wish...I'm supposed to be so strong, but i just feel weak, and..." Ibiki trailed off, and his eyes glazed over. Inoichi, sensing that Ibiki was on the verge of withdrawing into his shell, sad hurriedly, "Ibiki...let it out. Be as loud as you want, _let it out_."

Ibiki's cries rose, and he buried his face in Inoichi's shoulder, his skinny body shaking with sobs. His bony fingers clutched at Inoichi's nightshirt and he let loose a storm of pent-up emotion as Inoichi held him. It was sad, sad that he was all that Ibiki had. It was scary, too, scary to see a proud man turned into this. It was even scarier when you realized how amazing it was for him to be this sane, for him to be able to respond and talk and function semi-normally.

Ibiki held onto Inoichi as if he were his savior. It was a scary though, being elevated to the position Ibiki had him at. He was afraid he couldn't live up to the man Ibiki must think he was.

Ibiki cried for a long time, but when he finished Inoichi made sure he was all right and able to sleep before getting ready to go back to his own room.

"Inoichi..."

"Hmm? Yes, Ibiki?"

Ibiki looked away, his hesitant eyes a heartbreaking sight. "I hate to ask you again...but could you stay with me?"

Inoichi inwardly sighed, but outwardly he smiled. "Of course. It's no problem." Sure, he was tired, but in the face of such amazing perseverance, what could he say?

* * *

Reviews are love! :)


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Hi! I felt like the last couple of chapters weren't too good, so I tried to make this one better. I think this fanfictions coming to a close, unless you want me to write ten morwe chapters about how sad and despressed Ibiki is. I'm moving on from that part of the fic and this chapter it what resulted, so I hope you enjoy! :)

* * *

Ibiki stared straight ahead, his expression blank. He found it easy to replicate whatever facial expression he wanted, as his studies of the human mind combined with his extensive torture seemed to give him an edge on others.

"Active duty?" he repeated, then cursed inwardly. He knew people hated it when he repeated them. It was a bad habit he'd acquired, a way of ascertaining that someone wasn't trying to trick him or meant something else.

The Hokage smiled understandingly. "Yes, active duty. If you're willing to suffer through therapy three times a week, the village has decided to return you to active duty."

"Taking missions?" Ibiki could hardly believe it. It had hardly been a year since he'd been recovered, and he was already being allowed to return to active duty? Inoichi, who was beside him, seemed determined not to offer his opinion. Ibiki knew that they should take it slow, but even though he was willing to wait as long as possible he couldn't deny that his heart was pounding with this opportunity.

"Yes. You'll take mostly low-key intelligence missions, if that's all right with you."

He clenched his fists in eagerness. "Yes, sir."

"I'm putting a lot of trust in you, Ibiki-kun," warned the Hokage seriously. "This was not a unanimous decision. You're going to have to prove yourself if you want to continue being a ninja."

Ibiki couldn't help smirking, something that seemed out of place on his scarred face. "I prove myself every day."

The Hokage's eyes darkened. "You do, Ibiki, I'm not denying that." His voice was heavier than usual, and Ibiki felt as if the Hokage could seem right through him.

He was dismissed, and left with his brain whirling. He got to go back to active duty! This was much more than he'd expected. He didn't mind the therapy so much, he'd expected that much. He was fairly certain he could outwit and outmaneuver any psychiatrist they sent his way.

He glanced at the schedule the Hokage had given him. His first appointment was today. Sarutobi certainly didn't waste any time.

He went back to Inoichi's house for a few hours, helping Tanakai do dishes, a small chore he didn't mind at all. He looked for a spare flak jacket, but they were all too small for him. He was gaining weight and eating normally now, and he was allowed to exercise regularly. His chest, while not nearly up to the standard it had been before, was growing steadily more muscular. He'd have to go out and buy himself some flak jackets now that he was really a ninja again, not just a mentally unstable interrogator who terrified others. That man's scared face came back to him in his nightmares, asking him why he'd been so cruel. He'd only been trying to protect his village. Hadn't Ibiki been doing the same thing? Wasn't he essentially the same as Ibiki?

No, because Ibiki hadn't broken and he never would.

He headed to the address the Hokage had given him for his therapy, a special clinic that was specifically for ninja who'd been tortured. Ibiki could've probably worked there himself if he got just a little better at hiding his own issues.

He sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever before they called his name. He was alone in the room, so he wondered why they even bothered with that formality. He just wanted to get this over with. Finally a nurse appeared and ushered him in, her face all smiles. He didn't bother returning it, correctly assuming she would be out gossiping that she had seen Ibiki Morino getting his sanity.

The psychiatrist was waiting for him in a large room, and the mere feel of it made the back of Ibiki's neck prickle. He sat in a chair across from the desk, flat out refusing the stupid sofa.

"Hello," greeted the man, whose name was apparently Takamaru. Ibiki enjoyed the fact that this man shared his name with the Sand village's fastest messenger bird. "Good afternoon, Ibiki Morino."

"Hello," he replied blankly.

"My name is Takamaru Nishimura, but you can just call me Takamaru."

What a mouthful. Takamaru's parents must've been assholes. "You can call me what ever you like." he said, no emotion in his voice. He'd been called many things, most of them vulgar and insulting, but he took pride in the fact that he could never be called a traitor.

"I've heard you've gone through quite the trial recently."

"Through my patient file or the grapevine?" asked Ibiki shortly.

The man smiled in return. "Are you tense? You don't really want to be here, do you? Shinobi rarely do.

"I don't really care one way or the other. If it means I can be a ninja I'll gladly come here."

"Tell me, Ibiki, do you love your brother?"

Ibiki didn't even flinch at the unexpected question. "Yes."

"And your mother?"

"Yes."

"Your father?"

"Yes."

"Even though he beat you?"

"I didn't say I loved him _much_."

"That's fine. You know yourself a lot better than I know you. Just try and tell me how you feel so I can help you however I can."

Ibiki thought of the pain he had gone through, the rape and the whips and the cigarette burns and that damn lightning and those awful screws, and all the other things that had made his life a living hell, and how torturous his rehabilitation had been, the endless hours of effort just so he could move one leg a little bit. There was no one in all five villages who'd been through what he'd been through. Even if this man was versed in torture there was no one who could possibly understand all him of, he could only grasp at the merest corner of Ibiki's psychosis. But he would humor this man and let him try.

"Ibiki? Ibiki, are you there?" Takamaru sounded concerned, and Ibiki wondered if he actually cared.

"Yes. Sorry, I zoned out for a minute. I apologize."

Takamaru relaxed. "You don't have to apologize for that. Why do you think you have a tendency to apologize a lot?"

"If I didn't apologize for everything I did they would beat me and force me to drink my own blood." he replied automatically.

Takamaru blinked in surprise. Ibiki had to hand it to him, that was a mild reaction. This man knew his stuff.

"It wasn't too bad," shrugged Ibiki. "Sometimes it was the only thing I had to drink all day." He sat and watched Takamaru squirm. It was all the more disturbing because it was true.

"You're very frank about what happened to you. Are you like this with everyone, or just me?"

"Anyone whom I deem acceptable to share my experiences with."

"Ibiki, do you consider yourself mentally stable?"

"No."

Takamaru seemed genuinely surprised. "Really?"

"I know my own limitations. I will probably never been completely sane again. Too much has happened to me. I just want the medication to help deal with it so I can move on."

"That's a very logical standpoint. Are you like this in all parts of your life?"

"I try to be."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Hard to explain." he replied. He was perfectly aware of the answers to every question this man asked him, he just didn't want to make it too easy for him.

"Why is that?"

"I'll amend that statement. I don't_ want_ to explain." When Ibiki didn't want to say something, he wasn't going to say it. Takamaru accepted this and moved on.

"How do you feel about Yamanaka-san?"

"Without Inoichi I seriously doubt I would be here right now."

"You think you would've ended up on a destructive path?"

"Maybe...I do know that it would've taken me a lot longer to get where I am today. I may not be sane or in perfect health, but I'm not a sociopath. I'm not violent."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Do you have anything else to say on the matter?"

"No." said Ibiki shortly. This was beginning, against all his senses, to feel like an interrogation, and no matter how he tried to prevent himself from feeling this way, his insides clenched and he felt himself close up. He didn't want to answer any more questions, not now, not ever.

Takamaru didn't seem to have realized this. "Do you like his daughter, Ino? What do you think of her?"

Ibiki didn't respond. He couldn't. He pursed his lips and folded his hands.

Takamaru pressed on. "Is something wrong? Talk to me, Ibiki."

Ibiki didn't move, not a muscle. Takamaru seemed to realize that Ibiki was going to be able to handle any more, so he ended the session.

"Good job, Ibiki. you're a very straightforward man, and I like that about you. Next time try your best to talk a little more, all right?"

Ibiki nodded abruptly. He wasn't necessarily agreeing, but was acknowledging the request.

"You can go now."

Ibiki nodded again and stood up. Sighing a little, he muttered goodbye to Takamaru and strode out of the room.

He needed to get a control on his emotions if he was ever going to be a decent ninja. It would be hard, but he didn't care. Everything in his life was hard.

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Reviews are love! :)


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

This chapter's a little short...but I like it. It's different than thw angst and depressingness of the last few chapters. Enjoy! :)

* * *

"Ibiki-kun."

"Yes, Ino-chan?"

Ino bounced up and down incessantly. "...Hi."

"What, are you two?" he chuckled, not taking his eyes from the page of his book.

"I'm bored!" she whined.

"Boredom is good for your soul."

"Screw my soul!"

"That's probably not something you should ever say out loud." he mused.

"Oh, shut up!"

"You shut up." he said absently.

"Your face should shut up!"

"Very mature, Ino-chan."

"Your face is very mature!"

"...Thank you?"

"You're welcome!" she retorted angrily.

There was a silence as she digested the stupidity of her last few statements.

"Ibiki-kun?"

"Yes, Ino-chan?"

"Are you really going on missions again?"

He smiled slightly. It really wasn't much of a smile, but anyone who knew him knew how much better he was doing. "Yes. I'm leaving on one tomorrow, actually."

"Really? How long are you going to be gone?"

"A week or so."

"Wow, already?"

"I think the village is short-staffed lately."

Ino nodded like she understood. "Will you get hurt?"

"I could. Not if I'm smart, though."

"Were you being smart last time you were hurt?"

He pushed away memories and flashbacks and smirked thinly. "Not particularly."

"Don't be stupid, Ibiki-kun," scolded Ino. "I want you to stay alive and unhurt, so don't get yourself killed on a mission, moron."

"That's so polite," he remarked dryly.

"Sorry, moron-san."

"That's better."

"My dad gets hurt on missions sometimes," said Ino, thinking. "But not a lot, and never badly."

"He mostly works in the village, like I used to. I'll probably be like him if I do well enough."

"Yeah, but what he really loves is our flower shop," smiled Ino. "Sometimes I think he wishes he wasn't a ninja."

"Once a ninja, always a ninja," murmured Ibiki. "It's not something you can forget."

"Like riding a bike?"

"Something like that." agreed Ibiki, secretly wondering how dangerous a bike like that would have to be.

"Do you like being a ninja?"

"All questions today? You really do seem to be going through the terrible twos all over again."

Ino pouted. "You're mean. Answer my question."

"It's not that I like being a ninja. I don't have anything else I could be."

"Of course you do, silly," replied Ino, rolling her eyes. "They're all kinds of jobs for ex-ninja, like running shops and being a messenger, even body-guarding. Iruka-sensei just taught us that in the Academy. If you're still a ninja its because you want to."

He laughed. "I suppose you're right."

"I'm always right."

"Yes, ma'am."

She raised he hand into the air and slammed it down again. "Believe it!"

"That was stupid." he observed.

"I learned it from Naruto," She examined her hand. "You're right, it is stupid. But what do you expect from Naruto?"

"Not much. I don't know him."

"You don't hate him?" Ino, like all her classmates, had long since picked up on most adults' seeming hatred of Naruto.

Ibiki seriously thought about it. "No. Why would I? He hasn't done anything to me." Naruto had only been a baby when the Kyuubi attacked. How could the village justifiably blame him for anything that had happened? But Konoha was not always as accepting to those who had lost their humanity to save her.

"Yeah," echoed Ino, as if this had just occurred to her. "Totally."

Ibiki groaned as he clambered to his feet, his restructured muscles yelling in protest at the slightest movement. "I've got work to do, Ino-chan."

"No, don't go, I'm bored!" she whined.

"Sorry. Why don't you study or practice ninjutsu?"

"Boring!"

"Also necessary to being a ninja."

"Shut up!"

He shook his head in defeat. "Go on, be bored then. See if I care. I have improtant ninja things to do."

She attached herself to his leg, and he half-heartedly attempted to dislodge her. He'd never been much of a proscrastinator, but at that moment he'd much rather gave an oh-so-stimulating conversation with a pre-teen then get work done.

* * *

If that last line is a little weird, its because I had to replace it because the first one sounded a little pedophilic...it was weird, trust me, be glad I replaced it. There's only a few more chapter left in this, so show me how much you love it by reviewing (I'm a least a little sarcastic there). XD


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

This isn't may favorite chapter. Not my _least_ favorite chapter, but not my favorite chapter. Argh...writing. Bah.

Enjoy...I guess.

So, seriously, enjoy it or I'll stuff it down your throat. :)

* * *

"Inoichi-san?"

"Yes, Ibiki?"

"You won't be mad if I ask this, will you?"

Inoichi smiled sadly. No matter how big Ibiki got, how many missions he took, how much stronger he was inside and out, deep down he always had the innate fear that there would be no one to help him when he needed it.

"Ibiki, I won't be mad. You know I won't."

Ibiki calmed himself down, then swallowed and said, "I think I should be moving out soon."

"Huh?" This caught Inoichi utterly by surprise. He should've seen this coming, should've known that Ibiki wasn't going to live with them forever. He was almost, well, not back to normal, but as close as Ibiki would ever get. He still had nightmares and he still had bad days, but overall Ibiki was slowly improving. Although Ibiki had reduced his therapist to tears more than once, this was mostly because of Ibiki's habit of reversing the situation to make Takamaru, and not Ibiki, nervous and uncomfortable. If you asked Inoichi, if was obvious to see who was the better psychiatrist.

"I can't live with you forever. I need to stand on my own, not lean on you all the time. You're busy, and although I know you don't mind, I-"

"Ibiki, don't even say things like that. I don't care if you think you're inconveniencing me, you're not. Tanakai's new way of nagging me is to remind me that you do more work around the house than I ever did." said Inoichi calmly but firmly.

Ibiki looked sheepish. "I just want you to know that I can take care of myself now."

"You know that if you do move out, we'll be over bothering you at all hours."

Ibiki smiled. "Good. I...I wouldn't want to be alone all the time anyway."

This was what Inoichi was afraid of. Without the Yamanaka family, Ibiki had no one, except maybe Anko, to visit him. He was alone, and spending your days alone with bad memories was the worst thing that could happen to a ninja who'd been through as much as Ibiki.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

"is there anything else that led to this decision?" prompted Inoichi.

Ibiki hesitated. "A superior officer said that if I wanted to prove myself stable and fit for a higher ranking then I'd better toughen up and get out there on my own."

"Don't listen to others. Do what you want to."

"Don't get sappy on me, Inoichi-san," admonished Ibiki. "I _want_ to rise in rank. I hope to be the head of Torture & Interrogation."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? The head of T&I? Ibiki, I know you used to work there, but now-"

"My scars hurt a lot sometimes, and I don't think I can take missions too often. These last few months have been hard. I'd like a post in the village, and I'm good at interrogation. It doesn't take any more logic than that."

"If you say so..." said Inoichi dubiously.

Ibiki sighed, his expression bemused. "fine. I'll be honest. I'm a little sadistic, sadistic enough that I'm worried that I won't be control it if I don't have a proper outlet for it. This is my outlet."

"Are you sure this is good for you?"

"Inoichi-san, I know myself better than any therapist could hope to. This is best for me, whether or not you agree."

And when Inoichi met Ibiki's eyes, he realized this was an Ibiki Morino he had not seen for a very long time, an Ibiki Morino he had hardly known before he was tortured and broken and put into Inoichi's care. This Ibiki Morino's eyes were hard, and Inoichi felt like he had lost something. This Ibiki Morino would still come to him if he was in pain- but never in the middle of the night, crying and scared. Inoichi was not this Ibiki's only anchor. He wasn't the only thing Ibiki had to hold onto anymore.

"I understand," he found himself saying. "You have to do what you have to do."

"You're such a mother hen, Inoichi-san," chuckled Ibiki. "Thank you. I couldn't have gotten this far without you. Thanks to you, my recovery has been almost flawless."

Almost flawless? Is that what Ibiki considered his recovery to be? Inoichi hadn't really thought to much about it, but now he considered how much worse Ibiki could've ended up. Dead by his own hand, or in a state of depression so deep he would never emerge. Ibiki's recovery made all of the sleepless nights and painful mornings worth it.

"Inoichi-san? Are you listening?"

"Huh?"

Ibiki laughed. "Don't take this the wrong way, but please, could you get your head out of your ass?"

Inoichi blinked. "Excuse me?"

They stared at each other for a second, then burst out laughing in unison. Inoichi knew he was grinning stupidly, but he didn't care. He slapped Ibiki on the back. "You'll be head of T&I, Ibiki, just you watch. You'll do it in record time."

Inoichi would never know how much those words meant to Ibiki.

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As you can probably tell, this fanfiction will be ending soon. I just can't take many more chapters of mind-bending angst. :) Reviews are love! :)


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

We're almost to the end! One chapter after this! I put a lot into this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it!

:)

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Ibiki was awake before his alarm went off. He wiped sweat off his brow and grimaced. The nightmares hadn't been that bad, but they certainly hadn't been pleasant. He _was_ pleased to say that they were gradually getting better though.

He took a quick shower, stretching out all of his sore muscles and massaging the painful kinks out of his body, trying not to look at himself as he did so. He never spent too long in the shower- the water pressure eventually started feeling like needles pounding at his skin.

He dressed quickly, but hesitated over the gloves. Inoichi had told him that he should try to get used to showing his scars in public, but he wasn't sure if he or anyone else was ready to see his mutilated hands. He pulled on the gloves, relaxing when he felt their comforting tightness around his slightly numb fingers.

He made himself a light breakfast and pulled on his signature trench-coat, which he had adopted because he found it easy to hide documents in and made him feel more imposing, but apparently it had actually become a signature of his appearance. He found this unsettling, as good ninja did not fall into habits, but he figured a trench-coat didn't make much difference.

He walked to work, choosing it as the preferred method of travel. Teleporting made him sick, and he didn't mind taking his time. Kage knew he'd spend his entire time in the office bogged down by paperwork. The only thing he disliked about walking to work were the glances people shot him- fear, or nervousness. He often made people uneasy just by being around. His mere presence scared people, reminding them that the village was not as nice as it pretended to be. He was a living reminder that Konoha was a ninja village, no matter how nice and pretty they tried to make it look.

He reached T&I Headquarters and strolled into the gray, boring building. It was identical to every building around it, but Ibiki sometimes thought that you could _feel _the menace seeping out of it. He clocked in and poured himself a cup of lukewarm coffee, wincing when he tasted it. Prisoners weren't the only people they were torturing with coffee this bad.

"Morino-san?"

He looked down to see a timid chunin fidgeting in front of him. Probably the kid's first day on the job. He grunted in response.

"M-Mitarashi-san is expecting you in Interrogation Room 8." stuttered the kid. He probably wasn't expecting to come face to face with Ibiki Morino this early in his career.

"Anko? She can wait." he grumbled.

The kid looked terrified at this, and Ibiki remembered Anko's penchant for threatening the messengers. He smiled comfortingly (well, he tried, the kid just looked more scared) and added, "But I won't make her wait. I'll go now."

The kid looked relieved, and Ibiki satisfied his good deed requirement for the day. He clambered down the ridiculous amount of stairs to the lowest level of interrogation rooms, where they kept the most dangerous and hardest to break shinobi. He wondered briefly if that's where he'd been kept when he was in the recesses of the Rain village.

Anko was waiting for him, sitting in an uncomfortable beige chair outside the room in question, her arms crossed over her ample bosom. "Yo, Ibiki," she called. "About time."

"Mitarashi," he sighed. "What do you want? I have paperwork to do. The village doesn't protect itself."

"I spent all last night trying to break this prisoner," she complained. "But he wouldn't talk. Either he's a professional mime or he's got some serious skills."

"I hate going in after you. It takes forever to undo the damage you've done."

Anko stuck out her tongue. "I'll buy drinks tonight."

"You know I don't drink."

"Fine, I'll straight up give you twenty bucks, is that better?" she retorted sarcastically.

He agreed just for the sake of it. "Deal." He'd already been scheduled to interrogate this prisoner later that day, but Anko didn't need to know that.

"Rich asshole with a pension," she muttered, shoving her hands in her coat pockets, probably off to annoy some jonin and shove her breasts in a random genin's face. "WIsh _my_ pension was that good. Doesn't need twenty bucks."

He shook his head and unlocked the door to the interrogation room, fluctuating his chakra so the seal could identify it as his and let him in.

The interrogation took little over an hour, and Ibiki finished it with distaste. This shinobi had almost been broken by Anko, and it had take little prompting from Ibiki to urge the information out of him. He'd begged and pleaded and made a general fool of himself, and Ibiki was proud to say he'd never been remotely like that. People like that pissed him off. The longer it took, the more respect he had for them.

After the interrogation he walked up to his office and settled himself in for a long day of paperwork, wishing he had bought a boxed lunch on the way there. With this workload there was no way he'd be done before nightfall. He was glad to see the work, though. It meant the Hokage was trusting him with all this information. They were currently discussing putting him in charge of the borders, and this meant that promotion to head of T&I wasn't far off. Ibiki's goal was very close to being achieved, and there was no way in hell he was going to let a little paperwork get in the way of that.

He worked nonstop for hours, growling at any intern that dare approach him. Paperwork didn't generally bother him, but the piles that came along with his position was not pleasant, especially combined with his lack of assistants due to the undesirability of the Torture and Interrogation squad. Fortunately, whenever they became too swamped, Inoichi would have members of the Intelligence Division help with the paperwork, since their units were closely linked.

"Ibiki-san?"

He glanced up, his expression mutinous. "Who is it?"

Inoichi poked his head through the door. "It's me. You've been in here for hours. Want to go to dinner with us?"

"No thank you. I wouldn't want to intrude on a family dinner." declined Ibiki.

Inoichi shook his head. "You _are_ family, you stubborn idiot."

Ibiki smiled slightly, but inside he was reeling. No matter how many times Inoichi told him that, it felt good. Now that Idate was gone, going home to an empty apartment was a lot harder, and it was a good feeling to know someone cared about him that much.

"Fine...but I need to finish up here, I'm b-" He was cut off by Inoichi, who strode across the room and hoisted the large man up by his arm.

"No buts," admonished Inoichi. "The work can wait- you've been holed up in here all day. You probably haven't even had anything decent to eat."

"Inoichi-san, I seriously wonder who the woman is in your marriage," Ibiki muttered good-naturedly, letting Inoichi drag him out of the building.

"Shut up. I'm the man in bed, and that's where it counts."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't true..."

Inoichi slapped him on the back affectionately. "That's not nice. I don't remember telling you to grow up big and mean."

"I was already big and mean when you met me."

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?"

Ibiki followed Inoichi to the restaurant where his family was having dinner and seemed to be expecting him. He effortlessly joined Ino and Tanakai, enjoying the dinner conversation. Ino was getting close to taking her genin exams, and while Ibiki privately thought she was a little boy-crazy to become a ninja, he was sure she'd grow out of it and be a good shinobi. He also hoped that she would be assigned a desk post in the village, because he worried that she wouldn't be able to keep up with the strong enemy ninja outside the village borders.

After dinner with Inoichi Ibiki headed home, reaching his solitary apartment around nine. cursing quietly at the sound of his neighbor's music, he let his chakra seep into their apartment and felt satisfaction as the music was quickly turned off. His neighbor knew who he lived next to and wasn't going to dare messing with Ibiki.

He shed his trench-coat and uniform for looser, more comfortable clothing and pulled out a thick book, glad his coworkers couldn't see him reading a corny old romance novel. They probably thought his home was full of sharp, pointy things and dangerous edges and books on decapitation and torture...he _did_ have those things, but they were hidden safely out of sight.

When he'd had his fill of sappy romance he worked on his paperwork for an hour or two, then decided to get to bed, hoping he'd be able to sleep at least five hours. His nightmares may have been going away, but not nearly enough for his tastes.

As he climbed into bed he checked the calander and was so surprised that he laughed out loud. Not snicker, not sarcastically chuckle, but laughed. He hadn't even realized. No wonder Inoichi had wanted him at dinner.

It was June 18th, the second anniversary of his return to the village. He hadn't even noticed.

Ibiki slept soundly that night.

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Rahhhhhhhh...reviews are love! :)


	17. Epilogue

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

Last chapter. Happy birthday, Valerie...in a few months. My birthday is only six days liter, but I thought it would be weird if I picked mine.

Thank you for all your support! Enjoy for the last time!

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"All right you baby-faced degenerates, pipe down and listen up. I am Ibiki Morino, your first proctor, and from this day forth, your worst enemy."

As candidates went, they were impressive. Most of them were the standard kind of genin- cocky young idiots who thought they owned the world and nervous kids on the brink of failure, but there were a few of them that Ibiki could see were headed for the upper ranks. The Rookies- a bunch of children, perhaps, but the strongest group of children to enter the chunin since Kakashi and his peers blew their way through the stadium. They were certainly stronger than his brother.

He kept his eye on the Sand and Sound shinobi during the exam- out of all those present, they were the only ones to look like they'd experienced death and the guilt and pain that came with slaughtering another human being, of being hurt so badly you could feel the life bleeding out of you. them, and maybe the gray-haired kid with the glasses. It seemed it was a jaded group this year.

When he reached the climax of the exam and announced the ultimatum, the reactions were always fun to watch, seeing all those presumptuous pre-teens squirm and cringe with guilt and lack of confidence.

What _did_ surprise him, however, was the Uzumaki kid's response to the idea that he could never be a chunin. He yelled and slammed his hand on the table, screaming about his nindo and that he would never give up. It amused Ibiki, and he was glad to let him pass. He almost hoped that the kid's naivete wouldn't fade with time.

"Ibiki-kun?"

He started in surprise. He blinked to see Inoichi smiling at him, leaning against a wall.

"Yes, Inoichi-san?"

Ibiki had just finished collecting the tests and was headed out when Inoichi stopped him.

"Choza, Shikaku, and I are going out for drinks tonight," said Inoichi. "Do you want to come?"

"No, thank you," declined Ibiki politely, secretly thinking that sounded incredibly boring. "That's something for the Ino-Shika-Cho trio to do. I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Perhaps you're right..." conceded Inoichi. "It might be awkward..."

"Inoichi-san," said Ibiki calmly, "You know that I don't need your support as much as I used to. I will always be grateful to you for what you've done, but I can stand on my own again."

Inoichi nodded. "I know...but...I'm a mother hen, like you said. It's my nature."

Ibiki laughed, a gruff bark-like sound that Inoichi could never get used to. It was too sarcastic, too scathing to be a real laugh. It saddened him, and only further fueled his desire to make sure Ibiki was all right...but he really_ was_ being ridiculous. Ibiki was a proud, strong man, one who'd fought his way tooth and nail to get what he wanted. He was far stronger than Inoichi would ever be.

"I swear, Inoichi-san, you get lost in thought more than I ever did."

"You say that every time we talk."

"Sorry if I'm repetitive. I've only had large screws drilled into my skull, that's all," chuckled Ibiki. "It's more than enough of excuse."

"But you don't take excuses, do you, Ibiki-kun?" tutted Inoichi.

"No, I don't," admitted Ibiki. "You got me there."

There was a pause as Ibiki leaned against the door-frame, hands in his trench-coat pockets.

"Inoichi-san?"

"Yes, Ibiki-kun?"

Ibiki's eyes were dark and solemn, the way they always were when you really looked at them.

"Thank you."

"You've thanked me enough, Ibiki-kun."

"You're..." Ibiki cleared his throat roughly. "The father I never had. Got it?"

He was clearly embarrassed, and Inoichi smiled. "Got it."

Past the dark solemn eyes, Inoichi could see the heart of the strongest man he would ever know.

It was a beautiful green day in Konoha, the day they found him. Bleeding, unconscious, and broken nearly beyond repair, most thought Ibiki wouldn't live through the night. But Inoichi wasn't most men, and he hadn't given up on him. That day would turn out to bet one of the best days in both men's lives.

Ibiki was expecting a hell of a lot more beautiful green days, even if he had to fight to get them. Because when it boiled down to it, fighting was what Ibiki did best.

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Sigh...just as sappy as always. But that's fitting, considering its the last chapter. DX

Thank you for all the support I've gotten over the past few months! This fanfic was the most emotionally involved work I've ever written, so thank you to all those who've read it as I've written it, and thank you to anyone who's ever enjoyed it.

See you next time (I'm not sure what I'm implying, but whatever)!

Reviews are love!


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